Dr. Orpheus: If I reach behind your ear, it will not be a nickel I pull out, but your very soul!
Dr. Venture: Goodnight, ladies and gentlemen, you've been a great crowd...

Henchman: What about the necromancer? Memory wipes don't work on his kind.
Phantom Limb: True. But they take to hypnotic suggestion like cancer to a prostate

Brock: The Freeze Team! Down on the floor and hold your breath!
Dean: There's pee-pee on the floor!
Brock: I told you to hold your breath!

The Monarch: Tears!? Come on! You know that sick deformed freak! You know he was pounding his invisible meat!
Dr. Venture: Your honor, I have children here! I don't want them listening to this potty talk!
Judge: Order! I want that comment struck from the record. And my mind

Tiny Attorney: So... mind-reader... fascinating, could you read the mind of... say for instance... The Monarch?
Dr. Orpheus: If it would please the court.
The Monarch: Objection, no way!
Judge: This is most unorthodox.
Dr. Venture: Unorthodox! The defendant is in a crown for God's sake

Yes, little Rusty had a penchant for getting himself kidnapped about once a fortnight. I remember one time, I believe it was during "The Case of the Metal Mandingo"

Col. Gentleman

Careful, lad - his hands of those are strong enough to crush a boulder, but delicate enough to crush a butterfly

Col. Gentleman

Okay, this is getting weird! You're not going to tell me you went to college with the Monarch too? Where did you go to school - Super Crazy No-Way School?!

Hank

Hank: You see dead guys all the time.
Dean: When?
Hank: Dude, just last week Brock killed two dervishes with a pillowcase full of coats. Right in our bedroom!
Dean: He knocked them out!
Hank: Oh, sing yourself another lullaby, Baby Dean. The police took them away in body bags!
Dean: Sleeping bags! Those were sleeping bags!

Dr. Venture: Is my tie on straight?
Brock: Yeah. You can't miss with a clip-on.

Hank: It feels weird seeing someone else fly the X-1.
Col. Gentleman: Don't worry, boys. Despite Kano's racial handicap, he's an excellent pilot. Why, he can land this on a puffin... or a Smurf

Brock: This is you! You did this! I'm gonna kill you!
Underbheit: Brilliant deduction. You've discovered my brilliant plan to chain myself to an albino!

Venture Brothers Season 1 Quotes

Prostitute: Whew, that was some workout, big man.. but I guess you're gonna have to go look for those boys now, huh?
Brock: They'll turn up. Besides, I still got $300 left.
Prostitute: Oooh, three bills can buy you an awful lot of things..
Brock: I know. I'm gonna want change

They seem to have already discovered the fleshy jig of the mommy and daddy dance

The Monarch