Favorite Weeds Quotes
You're a slutty, irresponsible, slutty slut.
Andy [to Nancy]
She was gonna kill us so I popped the bitch.
Shane
Andy: Have you learned nothing from three years behind bars?
Nancy: Try again, fail better?
Dead hoes tell no tales.
Guillermo
I’m sorry, you might want to go away because I don’t like you. And I have a bad habit of losing things I don’t like in fires.
Zoya
Pilar: Do you know why I've never had children?
Nancy: Because you'd eat them and children are super fattening?
I think the steroids are giving me acne. On the upside, I think I've lost an inch from my dick.
Doug
Shane: Una navaja.
Nancy: Oh Shane, no more Spanish.
I'm the mother. I decide who gets clubbed. I do the clubbing.
Nancy
Andy: You and I will never right. Just say we'll never.
Nancy: They all die Andy. I like you too much to want you to die.
Andy: Holy cow, you're right! They do all die. You're pussy's a death sentence. A penis fly trap. You're Dr. Kavagian.
Nancy: All right then!
Andy: Wait - Esteban's not dead.
Nancy: Not yet.
Shane: You're not a bad influence on being a drug dealer.
Shane: You're a bad influence because you're a bad drug dealer.
Why did I never knew Josh was gay? He was a gay baby. Gay baby.
Doug
