Favorite Wilfred Quotes
Your death will be my holiday.
Wilfred [to Drew]
Ryan: What's the one thing Jenna hates about Drew?
Wilfred: Vaginal tearing from his huge cock?
You're not me. You're a good person. And you're a person.
Ryan: I'm not crazy.
Wilfred: Said the man to the dog.
Chemistry, baking and ping pong... how were you not blow jobbed to death by the entire cheerleading squad?
Ryan: I feel bad.
Wilfred: That's just your conscience being a total gaylord.
Ryan: You son of a bitch!
Wilfred: How is that an insult? I've never understood that.
I hope you're proud of yourself Ryan. I'm gonna be up all night licking Jenna's tears. Do you know what all that sodium's gonna do to my blood pressure?
A bone? That's like giving a basketball to a black guy.
Wilfred: Please tell me that donkey faced thing with the braces is not the chick you're going out with.
Ryan: She doesn't have braces.
Wilfred: Yeah you just can't see 'em, because they're probably on her legs. How do you think she supports that massive donkey face?
Catherine: Indian Chief, woo woo woo woo. That was a little racist but it was fun.
Wilfred: How is that racist? Indians do that all the time.
Ryan, anger is like herpes. You're not meant to keep it to yourself.
