Wilfred

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FX
Wilfred
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

Your death will be my holiday.

Wilfred [to Drew]

Ryan: I'm not crazy.
Wilfred: Said the man to the dog.

Ryan: I feel bad.
Wilfred: That's just your conscience being a total gaylord.

Chemistry, baking and ping pong... how were you not blow jobbed to death by the entire cheerleading squad?

Ryan: What's the one thing Jenna hates about Drew?
Wilfred: Vaginal tearing from his huge cock?

Ryan: You son of a bitch!
Wilfred: How is that an insult? I've never understood that.

What? You think you can do better than undies on the face?

Wilfred: Please tell me that donkey faced thing with the braces is not the chick you're going out with.
Ryan: She doesn't have braces.
Wilfred: Yeah you just can't see 'em, because they're probably on her legs. How do you think she supports that massive donkey face?

Ryan, anger is like herpes. You're not meant to keep it to yourself.

Catherine: Indian Chief, woo woo woo woo. That was a little racist but it was fun.
Wilfred: How is that racist? Indians do that all the time.

I hope you're proud of yourself Ryan. I'm gonna be up all night licking Jenna's tears. Do you know what all that sodium's gonna do to my blood pressure?

Mrs. Newman is my slave name. You can call me Catherine.

Catherine
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 300 in total

Wilfred Quotes

Ryan: I thought it would make me sound Effete.
Wilfred: So does saying the word "effete."

Ryan: Get off.
Wilfred: I'm trying to!

× Close Ad