Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FX
Wilfred

You're doing a shit job at that shit job.

Wilfred

Did you see that?!?! Slow Piscopo stole my bit right out from under me!

Wilfred

Excuse me, do I come into your place of business and interrupt you when you're working?

Wilfred

Are you kidding me? Lassie was doing sad, droopy dog eyes back in 1955. That shit is hack.

Wilfred

Those idiots wouldn't know adorable if it cornered them in a holding cell and raped them with a plunger handle. That reminds me; Bear could you pick up a plunger before our next date night?

Wilfred

Jeremy: Tomorrow. Possible?
Wilfred: You, not being a dick. Possible?

If those clowns come up with a cure for lung cancer it is going to be a sad, sad day.

Jeremy

I'm an office dog. It's my duty to entertain and amuse, and if I can't do it they'll bring in some foosball table who can!

Wilfred

I only huff the good stuff. I'm kind of keyboard cleaner snob.

Amanda

Stacy: Jeremy, I have the state highway commissioner on line one.
Jeremy: Well I've got a belly rub on line two!

Is anyone else concerned that there's a stale half-eaten Wheat Thin under this desk?

Wilfred

So you're just going to leave me in that thing? Like some guy caged up like some animal?

Wilfred
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 13 in total

Wilfred Season 2 Episode 3 Quotes

So you're just going to leave me in that thing? Like some guy caged up like some animal?

Wilfred

One man's trash is another man's feng shui. That's why I left that pool of yellow water by the southeast door.

Wilfred
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