Wilfred

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FX
Wilfred
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Ryan: What's that?
Wilfred: Baby food. Might as well get used to it. This is what it's gonna be like three months from now.

I'm such an idiot for not duct taping a pizza cutter to the end of Arturo's penis!

Wilfred

How many innocent babies have to survive before we put an end to this senseless nurturing?

Wilfred

Maybe I should take out a restraining order...from my pocket, to use as a bargaining chip to trade for my baby-getting stick.

Wilfred

How did you scale that giant wall? That's impossible. Are you secretly some sort of magical other worldly entity? Cause I'd tell you if I was.

Wilfred

It just keeps piling up, just like the brave, dead soldiers of the Babies R Us parking lot.

Wilfred

Ryan: I'm the worst brother ever.
Wilfred: Worst brother ever? Did you ever convince the other siblings in your litter to eat your own sister because she was born with no eyes? Cause I did that.

Jesus. This baby's gonna be God Damn adorable.

Wilfred

Do I have a spare dickfor? What's a dick for?

Wilfred

Ryan: You're at war with babies? Over what?
Wilfred: Why do any great civilizations go to war? To see who's cutest.

There's a war out there, Ryan, a war between dogs and babies...and you brought it to our door step.

Wilfred

Beans got a pair a month ago, and he's been snout deep in puss ever since.

Wilfred
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 13 in total

Wilfred Season 2 Episode 4 Quotes

Beans got a pair a month ago, and he's been snout deep in puss ever since.

Wilfred

Say what you want about Beans, but boy knows how to do it up right! There might even be a sprinkler.

Wilfred
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