Ryan, what am I gonna do if you go to jail? You're the most important member of my pack. A pack protects its own.

Wilfred

You know what you should do? March on over to Mrs. Stevenson's house, and tell her the truth. Your neighbor's dog masterminded multiple break-ins and planted evidence on her child.

Wilfred

My friend, I feel great shame for accusing you unjustly. I will not sleep well tonight, but tomorrow during the day I'll take a long nap.

Mr. Patel

So long Andy. Let's see your black magic stop you from getting gang-stomped in Juvy.

Wilfred

Ryan: You know my name?
Trash Face: I know your social security number. You really need a shredder.

Gene: Who's a good boy?
Wilfred: I'm a good boy, obviously. You, on the other hand, hot dogs and potato salad? How many Weight Watchers points is that?

You can put your bake goods...up your anus.

Maggie

Don't you see Ryan? If you don't go then they'll be even more suspicious. Next time it won't be eggs on your window, it will be Mrs. Patel's feces. And that's not me talking, that's still Mrs. Patel.

Wilfred

Ryan: Why would people assume that I'm the thief?
Wilfred: Really? You're still not getting this? You're the twitchy loner, the pasty neighborhood creep. And that's not me talking, that's Mrs. Patel.

What's so wrong with a little beer and some small talk with the ass holes down the street?

Wilfred

But Jenna's put a lot of work into this. She even took me to the groomer. Thanks for noticing by the way.

Wilfred

Wilfred Season 1 Episode 10 Quotes

What's so wrong with a little beer and some small talk with the ass holes down the street?

Wilfred

But Jenna's put a lot of work into this. She even took me to the groomer. Thanks for noticing by the way.

Wilfred