Ryan: I don't even wanna go to this wedding. Now I'm the co-ring bearer?
Wilfred: Yeahhhh, we need to talk about your title.

Do you ever wonder what it would be like if Wilfred could talk?


Being happy is just like being gay. It's a choice, that's why they mean the same thing.

Hey, Ryyyyy - cironi, the San Francisco treat. Now in the new chicken.


All that you see here are creations of your own mind. Perhaps that is why I am such a stereotype.

Red Wolf

Ryan: We need to get to a hospital.
Wilfred: Come on Ryan, Bear doesn't have insurance.

What about your boss's suicide? I mean someone ate his brains. That's twisted. Did they find who did that, by the way?

Jenna: Could you ever forgive me?
Ryan: I do everything else for ya.

Ryan: I'm returning the cats. There's no reason to keep them.
Wilfred: Dude, I was literally just about to kill them.

I will not rest until every cat in Venice is dead. And then I will move to my ultimate goal of making earrings out of the bronze testicles of every postal worker in the greater Los Angeles area.


Imagine how hilarious I'd look wearing a full-bodied animal suit.

Ryan: Maybe there will be a feel good ending, like all the cats are found safe.
Wilfred: Or sex-butchered by a psychopath.

Wilfred Season 2 Quotes

Wilfred: Do you know why dogs dig?
Ryan: Because they're searching for bones?
Wilfred: Because we're searching for truth.

It said "wake up," which is weird because I read somewhere that people can't read while they're dreaming.