Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men

Alan: So I can't even have one stupid thing in this house?
Charlie: Hey, leave Jake out of this!


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Related Quotes:
Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 7 Quotes, Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 7 Quotes

Charlie: You got your food in my refrigerator, your car in my garage, and your stupid, flowered towels in my guest bathroom!
Alan: Hey, those towels are very pretty. They brighten up the whole room.
Charlie: They're gay, and they scream "civil union!"

Charlie: I don't pay you to mock me.
Berta: Charlie, you'd have to pay me not to.

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