Therapist: So, you prefer to be scary?
Mac: Yeah! I was big as a skyscraper now I'm as tiny as a postage stamp. (sees pen on table, picks it up) Oh. I get it. Cute. You leave this pen here and people are supposed think, 'That looks like a dick.' (stares at it for long time)

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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 8 Episode 5 Quotes

Frank: I opened up to a therapist just once. I was a kid. I got into a fight. The doctor asked me question after question, got me so scrambled up. Next thing I know, I was shanghai'd upstate to a nitwit school. You know what a nitwit school is?
Therapist: I assume you mean a school for the mentally disabled.
Frank (spits pistachio shell): Yeah, not just for nuts in the head, but bodies, too. Back then science was real crude, they stuck us all together. My roommate was a frog-kid. You ever see a frog-kid?

Mac: I gained and lost 60 pounds in 3 months.
Therapist: That's almost impossible.
Mac: Well, through God all things are possible, so jot that down.