The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Leonard: So don't watch TV. Read a book.
Sheldon: And be a social pariah? Now you know that's not my style.

On Thursdays everybody comes over here and has pizza, or a reasonable facsimile prepared by someone claiming to be Luigi but who sounds suspiciously like Jackie Chan.

Sheldon

We could also stop using the letter M. But I think that idea is isguided and oronic.

Sheldon

Indians making Tex-Mex. Might as well have had the Chinese pizza.

Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh what fun. Like hippies at a love-in.
Leonard: Just sit here.
Sheldon: Right on man, right on.

How wonderful, dinner with some assembly required.

Sheldon

This evening I am the Dark Knight roaming these mean streets alone; a windbreaker for my cape and a stern expression for my cowl.

Sheldon

At one point Raj put on reggae music and his sister took off her shoes. It was like the last days of Caligula.

Sheldon

Penny: Today I drove to Van Nuys for an audition that I thought was for a cat food commercial. Turned out to be porn.
Sheldon: Did you get the part?

Penny: Ooh I thought I smelled pizza.
Sheldon: That's remarkable. If pepperoni were an explosive substance, you could replace German Shepherds at our nation's airports.

At this point in our ecosystem you are akin to the Plover, a small scavenging bird that eats the food from between the teeth of crocodiles. Please, fly into our open maw and have at it.

Sheldon

If you're experiencing any tension or awkwardness, it may stem from the fact that Leonard and Penny used to, if I may quote Howard, do the dance with no pants.

Sheldon
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 15 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon