Jim Rash Quotes
I scolded Leonard today, so according to Greendale bylaws, I now have to grant him three wishes.
Dean Pelton
Dean Pelton: Which is to say that having Jeffrey inside of me-
Jeff: No one was inside of anyone!
Dean Pelton: -was wrong. To have Jeffrey inside of me.
Shirley: Is this a bad time?
Dean Pelton (speaking as Jeff): I'm at Greendale, stuck in the body of a man who could be Gollum, so yeah, I'd say it's half past suck.
This awkward silence has been going on for days! Granted, Jeffrey looks amazing when he broods, but this has got to stop!
Dean
Dean: The perfect mix of low intellect, limited ambition, and limitless parental support.
Jeff: So, a rich dum-dum who will never graduate and keep dropping money into the school indefinitely. Got it.
Pierce Hawthorne has taken 80% of Greendale's classes twice. He is the only Greendale student who has ever paid for a premium locker or the extended pencil warranty.
Dean
Britta: We do need the money. The biology department's been dissecting the same dead pig for ten years.
Dean: If we get this money, we can buy 100 pigs and make everybody happy.
Thank you, Pierce Hawthorne, for your special blend of playful racial humor and genuine thoughts on Geraldine Ferraro.
Dean Pelton
I first met Chang when I hired him as a Spanish teacher at Greendale. Then he became a disgraced student, a psychopathic music major, a homeless vent dweller, a security guard, keytarist, power-hungry war lord, and, now, Kevin. It's sad to see him like this. Well, it's mixed. He was pretty terrible before.
Dean Pelton
Jeff: I thought I told you to stop reading my emails.
Dean Pelton: Well, I thought I told you to stop keeping secrets!
Eat that city college and wash it down with a big tall glass of SUCK IT.
Pelton
