Lisa: It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt. Homer's Brain: What does that mean? Better say something or they'll think you're stupid. Homer: Takes one to know one. Homer's Brain: Swish!
Homer: Dad, I have a problem. Grampa: Why did you come to me? I don't know nothin'. I used to get by on my looks. Now they're gone... withered away like an old piece of fruit. (Sobs) Homer: Are you done? Grampa: No, not yet! I was voted the handsomest boy in Albany, New York! Homer: Dad, I don't need advice! I need 15,000 dollars to buy a home! Grampa: Oh, well. All I own is this house, that I built with my own two hands! Homer: You didn't build this house! You won it on a crooked 50's game show! Grampa: I ratted on everybody and got off scott free!