Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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Charlie: Tell you what, I'll be your wingman. I'll go over and engage the mom in conversation. Then, after I've greased the wheels, I'll give you a signal. You saunter over and work your magic.
Jake: "Saunter?"
Charlie: Walk.
Jake: Well, then, just say "walk." You don't have to make up words.


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Charlie Harper Quotes, Jake Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 11 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 11 Quotes

Jake: In ultimate fighting they kick, they elbow, they get a guy down and smash his head in the floor. These guys just dance around and barely hit each other.
Charlie: Okay, okay, listen to me. Boxing is a science. Boxers don't just wail on each other: they strategize, feel each other out, wait for an opening.
Jake: Gay.

I once handed a date my Visa so she could pump gas for me, and on my next statement, there were charges for a boob job and a PlayStation 3. And I never got to play with either one of them.

Charlie