Bart: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners. Only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars trilogy. If you'd like to learn more about war, there's lots of books in your local library--many of them with cool, gory pictures. Well, good night, everybody. Peace, man.


Unrated
Show Comments
Character:
Bart Simpson
Episode:
The Simpsons Season 1 Episode 5: "Bart the General"
Show:
The Simpsons
Related Quotes:
Bart Simpson Quotes, The Simpsons Season 1 Episode 5 Quotes, The Simpsons Quotes
Added by:
Added:

The Simpsons Season 1 Episode 5 Quotes

Armistice treaty, article four. "Nelson is never again to raise his fists in anger." Article five. "Nelson recognizes Bart's right to exist." Article six. "Although Nelson shall have no official power, he shall remain a figurehead of menace in the neighborhood."

Herman

Bart: Okay, we all know why we're here, right?
Milhouse: No, why?
Bart: To fight Nelson, the bully. That guy has been tormenting all of us for years, and I for one am sick of it! I can't promise you victory. I can't promise you good times. But the one thing I do know--
(All the boys file out.)
Bart: Whoa! Whoa! I promise you victory! I promise you good times!