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Two-and-a-half-men

Alan: The important thing for you to know is how much I love you.
Jake: You told the waiter that you loved him, too.
Alan: He was a very good waiter

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Related Quotes:
Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 10 Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes, Jake Harper Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 10 Quotes

Charlie: So what else did we learn tonight?
Alan: Well, let's see. I learned that, that to overcome my fear of rejection ingrained in me by an emotionally distant mother, I need to completely disable my central nervous system with semi-lethal quantities of alcohol

Alan: From now on I'm going to live my life with honor and dignity.
Charlie: But first, I'll just fall asleep with my head on the crapper

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