Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two-and-a-half-men

Alan: There is a very good chance a woman like that is tired rich, handsome, successful guys that have their own homes and recently built cars.
Charlie: You really believe that?
Alan: I have to.


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Related Quotes:
Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 8 Quotes, Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 8 Quotes

Alan [about Gail]: I felt a little spark between us
Charlie: If there was a spark it's because she was warming up her taser

Jake: Do either of you guys urinate with abnormal frequency?
Alan and Charlie: No.
Charlie: I mean, you gotta define abnormal
Alan: Keep in mind the body doesn't process alcohol efficiently, which is why your Uncle Charlie is a perpetual urine machine
Charlie: Also keep in mind your father has the bladder control of a frightened nine year old girl, which is why he needs to wear two pairs of undies and a panty liner
Alan: Only on long drives

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