Family Guy

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Lois: They cut our school's funding if it's got low test scores? This is not what the founding fathers had in mind. (Cuts to scene to signing of Declaration of Independence.)
Man On Podium: Okay, we're here to sign this declaration of our independence. Let's take roll call first. Thomas Jefferson?
Thomas Jefferson: Here.
Man on Podium: Benjamin Franklin?
Benjamin Franklin: Here.
Man on Podium: John Footpenis?
John Hancock: It's Hancock now.
Man on Podium: Why?
John Hancock: Mind your business, that's why.


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Related Quotes:
Family Guy Quotes, Family Guy Season 5 Episode 16 Quotes, Lois Griffin Quotes
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Family Guy Season 5 Episode 16 Quotes

Peter: Chris, I would give you a hug, but I'm exhausted for working two jobs for paying your scholarship. I've been selling buttscratchers-BUTTSCRATCHER! ( shows Lois a tiny hand on a stick )
Lois: No, Peter.
Peter: BUTTSCRATCHER! ( shows buttscratcher to Lois again )
Lois: Peter, no!
Peter: BUTTSCRATCHER! ( shows buttscratcher to Lois once again )
Lois: NO!
Peter: ( sad ) Buttscratcher...

Lois: Meg and I have been working at nights.
(scene cuts to Meg and Lois in an alley dressed as hookers. Car pulls over)
Man: I'll take the one in the right.
Lois: (opens the car's door ) Well, once again, Meg, I'll be back in an hour.

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