South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South park
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Tom I'm standing outside the home of Chris and Linda Stotch. They're living every parents nightmare right now, as last night while Miss Stotch was driving with her son in her car, a man stopped her, put a gun to her head and took her son away. When asked who the man was, Miss Stotch replied "Some Puerto Rican guy." Naturally the police are on an all-out man hunt for some Puerto Rican guy.

News Reporter

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South Park Season 5 Episode 14 Quotes, South Park Quotes
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South Park Season 5 Episode 14 Quotes

Reporter 1: Mrs. Stotch, what did the kidnapper look like?
Linda: Puerto Rican.
Repoter 2: Was he tall, short?
Linda: He was... average Puerto Rican height.

(Chris Stotch is walked in on by Butters while masturbating in a gay bathhouse private room)
Chris: AHH! Butters!
Butters: Hi, Dad!
Chris: Oh, god! Oh, ohhh!
Butters: I'm glad I found you! I think I know the perfect anniversary present for Mom. What are you doing with your wiener out there, Dad?
Chris: Butters, you need to leave here right now! You need to get out of here! Go home and wait for me to talk to you.
Butters: Oh...well, alright then. Well, see you at home!
(Butters closes the door, and heads back home)
Chris: Oh, Jesus no... oh, what have I done?