Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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Herb: Truth is, I kind of like the instruction—takes out all the guess work.
Alan: Sure.
Herb: I tend to meander when I don't have game plan.
Alan: Yeah, well that's never a problem with Judith. She's the Vince Lombardi of sexual intercourse.
Herb: She did teach me to play through the pain.
Alan: Yeah. "Tape it up and get back in there!"

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Alan Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 4 Episode 13 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 4 Episode 13 Quotes

Alan: I bought him two pies.
Judith: Why would you do that?
Alan: It seemed easier than explaining to him that his mother's fiancé is a sexual moron

Jake: I'm still awake!
Judith: Happy?
Herb: I may never be happy again