Raj: We need a social catalyst.
Leonard: Like what? We can't get 15-year-old girls drunk.
Wolowitz: Or can we...!?

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The Big Bang Theory Season 1 Episode 12 Quotes

Sheldon: Here's the problem with teleportation.
Leonard: Lay it on me.
Sheldon: Assuming a device could be invented, which would identify the quantum state of matter of an individual in one location and transmit that pattern to a distant location for reassembly. You would not have actually transported the individual, you would have destroyed him in one location and recreated him in another.
Leonard: How about that.
Sheldon: Personally, I would never use a transporter because the original Sheldon would have to be dissintegrated in order to create a new Sheldon.
Leonard: Would the new Sheldon be in any way an improvement on the old Sheldon?
Sheldon: No, he would be exactly the same.
Leonard: That is a problem

If we were in India this would be simpler. Five minutes with her dad, 20 goats and a laptop, and it would be done

Raj [on approaching a girl]