We now return to Carl Sagan's Cosmos. Edited for Rednecks. I...
(Peter and Brian are watching TV)
TV Announcer: We now return to Carl Sagan's Cosmos.
TV Announcer 2: Edited for Rednecks.
Carl Sagan: I'm Carl Sagan. Just how old is our planet? Scientists believe it's four bi--
Redneck: (dubbed over) Hundreds and hundreds of years old.
Carl Sagan: Scientists have determined that the universe was created by a s--
Redneck: (dubbed over) God (held long).
Carl Sagan: --ig bang. If you look at the bones of a--
Redneck: (dubbed over) Jesus.
Carl Sagan: --nosaurus Rex, it's clear by the use of carbon dating th--
Redneck: (dubbed over) Mountain Dew is the best soda ever made.
(Peter spits tobacco on the floor)
Brian: Peter, that's disgusting. Here, spit in this cup instead.
(Peter spits in cup and puts it on the arm of the couch)
Stewie: Oh, there's my apple juice.
Brian: Stewie, wait don't-
(Flashback to Stewie beating Brian)
Stewie: Where's my money? You gonna give me my money?
Brian: Oh, nevermind.
(Stewie drinks from the cup and starts yelling)
- Permalink: Peter, that's disgusting. Here, spit in this cup instead. Oh...
Lois: Glen, we're so thrilled for you.
Brian: Yeah. Guess it didn't take much for you to get your job back, now that you're a hero.
Peter: And I'm so happy, I don't mind that I was raped in a federal prison after being arrested for hijacking!
- Permalink: Glen, we're so thrilled for you. Yeah. Guess it didn't take mu...