Melissa: We should have sex in every room
Alan: I don't see why not. We'll have to bring the towel with us. Of course we're going to have to wait a half an hour to give my erectile dysfunction medicine a chance to overcome my anti depressants

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Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 4 Quotes

Alan: I was on a date with Melissa
Charlie: How'd it go?
Alan: She broke up with me and I may have to register as a sex offender
Charlie: So at least you had fun

Charlie [about Chelsea and Jake]: ...and one of you has to go, guess who that will be?
Jake: Why, because you sleep with her?
Charlie: Good for you, why do people think you're stupid?