Edie: What do you want?
Susan: Uh, this is a little awkward and I apologize in advance for how this is gonna sound, but um...by any chance, did you burn down my house?
Edie: Yes.
Susan: What?
Edie: Yes, I burnt down your house, you sleazy little whore.
Susan: Edie! Why would you do that?
Edie: Can you blame me after sending me that acid letter?
Susan: Letter? What letter?
Edie: The one where you admitted to stabbing me in the back by sleeping with Karl.
Susan: You weren't supposed to get that! I stole that back from the mailman.
Edie: So, you were trying to hide the truth from me?
Susan: This is not what we should focus on right now. The point is you maliciously set fire to my house!
Edie: Look, I admit I might have overreacted a tad.
Susan: A tad? Edie, I have no roof! You can't just go around burning down people's homes!
Edie: Why not? You burnt down my home! You stole Mike from me! You slept with my fiance! That's the trifecta! You're lucky I didn't torch your car!
Susan: That's it! I'm going to the police and I'm telling them what you did!
Edie: Did what? I didn't do anything.
Susan: Wha--? You just confessed!
Edie: No, I didn't. Did anyone else hear me confess? Hello? Hello? No witnesses. No evidence. No confession. I guess we're done here. You can go home now. Oh wait, that's right, you don't have one.