Leonard: What, to you, is a large crowd?
Sheldon: Any group big enough to trample me to death. General rule of thumb is 36 adults or 70 children.

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The Big Bang Theory Season 3 Episode 18 Quotes

A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a drink?" The bartender says, "For you? No charge."


Sheldon: I can't give a speech.
Wolowitz: No, you're mistaken. You give speeches all the time. What you can't do is shut up.
Raj: Before the movie, you did twenty minutes on why guacamole turns brown. It turned brown while you were talking.