Alan: What's taking you so long?
Jake: I can't find my other shoe.
Alan: So put on a different pair.
Jake: But this one's on already


Rating: 4.0 / 5.0 (1 Vote)
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Characters:
Alan Harper, Jake Harper
Episode:
Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 16: "Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?"
Show:
Two and a Half Men
Related Quotes:
Alan Harper Quotes, Jake Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 16 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 16 Quotes

Berta: Show of hands—who spent their day pre-soaking the shorts of a kid who leaves more skid marks than a getaway car? [Berta raises her hand] That's what I thought. Now, if you ladies will excuse me. I have three buses to catch. [Berta leaves]
Charlie: I bet she catches them by hand

Jake: Can I have some privacy, please?
Charlie: For what? You're eleven.
Jake: That's close to puberty