Charlie: What's that?
Alan: A decorative bowl. I thought it would be perfect to keep our keys in.
Charlie: Well, I don't like it. Take it back.
Alan: But it was on sale.
Charlie: I don't care if you got it free with a subscription to Ugly Bowl Illustrated.

Related Quotes:
Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 7 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 7 Quotes

Charlie: You got your food in my refrigerator, your car in my garage, and your stupid, flowered towels in my guest bathroom!
Alan: Hey, those towels are very pretty. They brighten up the whole room.
Charlie: They're gay, and they scream "civil union!"

Charlie: I don't pay you to mock me.
Berta: Charlie, you'd have to pay me not to.