Why are they fighting? Oh, they're not fighting, they're discu...

Jake [referring to his mom and Aunt]: Why are they fighting?
Alan: Oh, they're not fighting, they're discussing.
Jake: I'm a child of divorce, Dad. I know the difference.


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Characters:
Alan Harper, Jake Harper
Episode:
Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 19: "I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You"
Show:
Two and a Half Men
Related Quotes:
Alan Harper Quotes, Jake Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 19 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 19 Quotes

Alan: Judith's sister is hitting on me.
Charlie: She's not hitting on you, she's hitting on her sister's ex-husband.
Alan: But that's me!

Judith: Oh, come on, Charlie. You know there was always sexual tension between us.
Charlie: Really? I thought it was just regular tension.
Judith: I saw you looking at my chest.
Alan: You looked at my ex-wife's chest??
Charlie: Hey, I'm a guy

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