Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two-and-a-half-men

Jake [referring to his mom and Aunt]: Why are they fighting?
Alan: Oh, they're not fighting, they're discussing.
Jake: I'm a child of divorce, Dad. I know the difference.

Like Us On Facebook

Unrated

Want more Two and a Half Men?

Sign up for our daily newsletter and receive the latest tv news delivered to your inbox for free!

Show:
Episode:
Characters:
,
Related Quotes:
Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 19 Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes, Jake Harper Quotes
Added by:
Added:

Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 19 Quotes

Alan: Judith's sister is hitting on me.
Charlie: She's not hitting on you, she's hitting on her sister's ex-husband.
Alan: But that's me!

Judith: Oh, come on, Charlie. You know there was always sexual tension between us.
Charlie: Really? I thought it was just regular tension.
Judith: I saw you looking at my chest.
Alan: You looked at my ex-wife's chest??
Charlie: Hey, I'm a guy

x Close Ad