Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side! Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot! Homer: D'oh!
Lisa: Dad, Mom said she'd be home to help me with my costume and she's not, and the geography pageant is tonight! Homer: Lisa, your mom still loves you. It's just that she has a career now. She's a slot-jockey.