You actually want to deceive your father with some sort of sham, playacting and kissing? Because I'm good with that.

Leonard

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The Big Bang Theory Season 4 Episode 9 Quotes

I was working with penicillin-resistant gonnorhea in the lab today, and I was just trying to remember if I washed my hands.

Bernadette

Indian Monopoly is just like regular Monopoly, but instead of money you use rupees, instead of building hotels you build call centers, and when you pick a chance card there's a chance you die of dysentery. And just FYI, that was racist.

Wolowitz