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New-girl

Remy [to Nick]: You get to be the underpants captain tonight.
Jess: Great choice, Remy. Nick will make a great underpants captain.

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New Girl Season 1 Episode 12 Quotes

Any time a man wants to show a woman how to do something from behind it's just because he wants an excuse to get real close and breathe on her neck. Watch any sports movie.

Nick

What if I ate my own hair and pooped out a wig?

Schmidt
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