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You know what they say about relationships. Every waking moment's a battle.

Barney
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HIMYM Quotes, How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Episode 7 Quotes, Barney Stinson Quotes
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How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Episode 7 Quotes

Barney [prerecored on porn tape]: Hello, Ted. If you're watching this tape, and I knew you'd pick this one, you're now in posession of my porn. And this can only mean one of two things: either I'm dead or I'm in a committed relationship. If I'm dead I want you to honor my memory by taking my body to the Hamptons and recreate Weekend at Bernies. I want to dance, go fishing, and I want to have sex with a girl. If on the other hand I'm in a committed relationship, as your best friend I have only one request... for the love of god get me out of it

Your girlfriend? She's your girl.. friend? She's a girl and a friend? Do not humanize the enemy, Ted.

Barney
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