Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two-and-a-half-men

Charlie: You know your uncle Charlie wrote that song.
Jake: No lie.
Charlie: Kid, if I was going to lie to you, I would have said I wrote "Stairway to Heaven"


Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 (1 Vote)
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Related Quotes:
Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes, Charlie Harper Quotes, Jake Harper Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes

Jake: If drinking makes you feel bad, why do you drink?
Charlie: Nobody likes a smart ass, kid.
Jake: You have to put a dollar in the swear jar. You said "ass."
Charlie: Tell you what. Here's a twenty. That ought to cover me until lunch

Woman [to Charlie about Jake]: You guys are really great together.
Charlie: Thanks.
Woman: Your wife must be proud.
Charlie: Oh, no, I'm not married.
Woman: Too bad.
Charlie: Wow, you're even better than a dog

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