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Two-and-a-half-men

[Charlie enters the house late at night. Alan is sitting in the living room.]
Alan: You were with her [Courtney], weren't you?
Charlie: What are you, my wife?
Alan: No, I'm the wedding planner.

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Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 16 Quotes, Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 16 Quotes

Jake: When you marry my grandma, what does that make you to me?
Teddy: Nothing.

Charlie: It's your fifth wedding, Mom. What do you need help with, besides remembering the groom's name?
Evelyn: You know, I'd cut him out of the will if I thought there was a chance he'd outlive me.

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