The Simpsons

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(At Sideshow Bob's trial.)
Sideshow Bob: Your Honor, I choose to represent myself. And let me say... I did try to kill the Simpsons. I truly did.
(The entire courtroom gasps in shock.)
Prosecutor: (to Homer and Marge) Okay, if he doesn't say "but" right now, we are home free.
Sideshow Bob: But--
Prosecutor: Damn!


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Sideshow Bob Quotes, The Simpsons Season 19 Episode 8 Quotes, The Simpsons Quotes
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The Simpsons Season 19 Episode 8 Quotes

Sideshow Bob: Before you die, perhaps you'd like to know how I engineered my ultimate revenge.
Homer: I'd like to know if Wes Doobner is aware of what you're doing in his restaurant!
Sideshow Bob: I'm Wes Doobner!
Homer: Mr. Doobner, I have a complaint: I work hard and when I go out with my family I expect a certain level of basic--
Sideshow Bob: Shut up!

Sideshow Bob: Let's not tarry. As Shakespeare said, "If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere best it were done quickly." Power on!(turns on the laptop and laughs maniacally) This time I've made no mistakes.
Lisa: Actually, you made one. What Shakespeare really said was, "'Twere well it were done quickly."
Sideshow Bob: Yes, I'm sure you've studied the immortal bard extensively under your "Miss Hoover." (leaves and shuts the door)
Lisa: Macbeth, act one, scene seven. Look it up.
Sideshow Bob: (re-enters) I shall! (takes the laptop) Come on, Wikipedia. Load, you unwieldy behemoth! laptop explodes Oh, dear. Sideshow Bob, "Hoist on his own petard."
Lisa: It's "hoist with his own petard."
Sideshow Bob: Oh, get a life.