Elaine: You're extremely...careful...with money.
George: I'm cheap? You think I'm CHEAP? How could you say that to me? I can't
believe this. How could you say that to me?
Elaine: You asked me to!
George: You should have lied!
Elaine: HUH, so should you.
George: I mean I'm not really working right now.
Elaine: I know.
George: When I was working I SPENT baby!
Jerry: Yeah, I know champagne, limos, cigars.

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Seinfeld Season 3 Episode 2 Quotes

My cousin Douglas was in a place like this one time. He came over to my house for dinner. There was no soda and he went berserk. He was screaming. "Where's the Pepsi, where's the Pepsi?"


I was audited last year. At first I thought well, IRS kinda sounds like Toys 'R Us maybe won't be so bad.