You're not really thinking about going back, are you? I don't ...
Berta [about Judith]: You're not really thinking about going back, are you?
Alan: I don't know. She wants to, but I'm torn.
Berta: You're not torn, you're gutless. Do you still love her?
Alan: Of course I do. I mean, you know, we've been through a lot of things together. She's the mother of my son.
Berta: Okay, listen to me Zippy. If that's all it took to make a marriage, I'd have a husband for each one of my tattoos
Alan: Are you still reading that thing?
Charlie: How can I not? It's an entire website devoted to trashing me! Listen to this: "Has anybody had sex with Charlie where he actually bothered to take his socks off?" It's just mean! I have bad circulation in my feet -- they get cold!
- Permalink: Are you still reading that thing? Has anybody had sex with Cha...
Charlie: Please tell me the Jack and Ginger isn't for you.
Gail: No, it's for my girlfriend. Why?
Charlie: Well, you look like a woman of discriminating taste, and mixing a quality bourbon with ginger ale is like putting Cheez Whiz on Lobster Newberg.
- Permalink: Please tell me the Jack and Ginger isn't for you. No, it's for...