You're ticking, sir. You're ticking. You know how I know you're ticking? Up until you saw this picture, you've been happy. Lately, you've been happy, and don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed it. Not because of the happiness but because it's been weird, like seeing a grandma in a bikini or a Democrat with a Bible. You're happy, but we both know that happy people are rarely actually happy, unless they're morons. You are a brilliant man, a Rhodes scholar and a PhD, which means you're acting happy because she won't take your calls, and you won't admit that it bothers you and god knows what else that goes on in the Shakespearean drama that is the women in your life. You're ticking, sir. You're a bomb stuffed in a teddy bear waiting to explode.

Cyrus