Better Off Ted - TV Fanatic

Better Off Ted Review: "Mess of a Salesman"

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 10:18:57 EST

Veronica: Saddle up, Linda! And say goodbye to common sense. | permalink

Against its better judgement, ABC aired its last planned episode of Better Off Ted last night in its unfortunate Tuesday lineup. Oh why couldn't you give Ted a fighting chance on Wednesdays next to your other comedies?

Unfortunately, the final Ted outing, "Mess of a Salesman," was a decent one, but certainly not the series or even this season's finest effort. We hope this doesn't end up being the series finale and ABC at least gives us a better episode to go out on a bang with.

This week's installment certainly had the potential to be a great episode. Once we got past the cheesy interactions between Ted and his brother's silly interactions, Billy (Eddie McClintock) actually turned out to be a great character.

When paired with Phil and Lem, Billy made the two scientists even funnier character if that's possible. The trio definitely got the most laughs out of us this episode as Billy pushes the two nerds into a wild streak.

Meanwhile, our new favorite pairing on the show, Veronica and Linda teamed up to take down the head of the Veridian Foundation (Rick Hoffman). While not as strong as some of Veronica's other outings, her hilarious references to fawn, Linda's head butting, and the Foundation's fake commercial made it a decent plot line.

Overall, the plot line was decent and we liked how the two stories converged at the end. Our only complaint would be the forced brotherly interactions between Ted and Billy that didn't seem to belong on this show.

It was a good episode of Ted, just not a good finale for the show. Our rating and collection of Better Off Ted quotes from the episode after the jump.

Veronica: The forest will run red with the blood of woodland creatures who doubted little Veronica and will now pay with their furry little lives. | permalink

Phil: We can't leave work in the middle of the day. We're not Somali pirates. | permalink

Commercial: The Veridian Foundation... helping the world then telling people about it makes us feel so good. The Veridian Foundation... Helping people. By telling people we're helping the world. | permalink

Ted: Do you know how many times I didn't get laid in college because girls don't like getting hissed at by a jealous possum? | permalink

Better Off Ted Series Finale: Pictures Galore

matt@mediavine.com (Matt Richenthal) — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 16:54:14 EST

Barring a last-second save by ABC, Better Off Ted airs its series finale next week.

Before we get too choked up bidding farewell to some of the funniest characters and quotes on TV, we'll alert readers about what to expect on Tuesday's final installment, "Mess of a Salesman."

Eddie McClintock (Warehouse 13) guest stars as Ted's brother, Billy. Ted gets him a job selling lab equipment for one of Veridian's biggest suppliers - but this leads to a disastrous outcome.

Elsewhere on the show, a charity for girls (supposedly) supported by the company gives Veronica an award.

As you mourn the inevitable end to this great sitcom, enjoy the following photos from its final episode. Click on each to enlarge:

Better Off Ted Review: "Lust in Translation"

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:04:32 EST

While not a biting office satire and clearly lacking a Veridian commercial, this week's episode of Better Off Ted was the funniest and most quotable episode of season two.

In "Lust in Translation," Veridan was attempting to partner with a German company on a new translation device, and Ted grew quite close with one of the executives, Greta (Stefanie von Pfetten) outside of the office.

The hilarious twist being that in order to improve the device's voice it outputs (what could be better than a 90 foot robot?), they switch it to Phil's voice and Greta refuses to keep sleeping with Ted or working with Veridian if he won't let her use the device in bed.

While not as original as other Ted plot lines, this one led to some great mistranslation lines, German jokes, and awkward moments with Phil's voice coming out of a beautiful blonde woman. We definitely felt the main story line led to some of the funniest moments of the season.

Meanwhile, again we see Linda's cookiness playing of the straight Veronica very well as the two of them played "Linda Bagel" against each other. We never thought it'd work, but these two continue to prove they have a great dynamic together. Too bad ABC may only be giving us one more episode of Ted next week.

Even if the rest of America isn't tuning in, we know we'll be watching what will most likely be the season two finale next week. Now for the Better Off Ted quotes form this week's episode:

Ted: And listen. The Germans are all worried because, ironically, they think that Veridian is ruthlessly efficient and bent on world domination.
Phil: Wow. That's like when those Irish auditors thought our accounting department drank too much and wrote overly depressing poetry | permalink

Lem: We don't create evil things.
Ted: Some might see this long-range people-skinning laser as evil-ish.
Phil: Well, that was only designed so you could peel an orange in your kitchen while sitting comfortably in your living room.
Ted: Well, now it's used to peel enemy soldiers overseas while you sit comfortably in the Pentagon. | permalink

Ted: It's hard for me to fulfill my manly duties when Phil keeps telling me how much I'm pleasuring him.
Phil: Oh, my God.
Ted: Yes, you said that a lot last night. | permalink

Ted: What are you afraid of? If you... if you throw a game, it's gonna keep you out of the time-wasters hall of fame?
Linda: No. My position there is secure from getting my art history degree. | permalink

Better Off Ted Review: "The Long and Winding High Road"

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 12:23:46 EST

The second of two new episodes of Better Off Ted last night, "The Long and Winding High Road," was definitely stronger than the entertaining first effort. And that's not just because the second episode had an amazing Veridian commercial. That always helps in our book, though.

The "High Road" was Ted and Veronica going up against their rival research lab at Veridian and both trying to take different roads. However, when Ted ends up sneaking behind Veronica's back and slipping onto the lower road, their two plans backfire against each other in typical sitcom cliche.

Any other show we'd critcize for using a cliched plot, but in Better Off Ted, there was more than enough quirk to still make it work. In fact, Veronica and Linda's scene where they talked to Rose was one of the funniest Ted moments, since well, Veronica talked to Rose in the first season.

Seeing the dynamic of a Veronica and sycophant Linda working together was actually a fun pairing we've never seen before and the two played off each other nicely. Ted did just fine on his own as he went up against Pete (Kyle Bornheimer).

Although constantly pushed to the B story, Phil and Lem did phenomenal in their broken thermostat plot line. Who knew Lem was in such good shape? Maybe the guy should always consider the lab coat sans shirt.

With only a couple weeks left to go in Better Off Ted's final season, you can count on TV Fanatic to continue to bring you reviews and quotes each episode. Even if ABC is running through its episodes, this show deserves a proper send off.

Now for our favorite Better Off Ted quotes from the episode:

Linda: Can't we develop one product that doesn't end up being used to kill people? Even our fat-free cinnamon roll led to that new sticky bomb.
Veronica: You're so moral and perfect all the time. Do singing birds and mice dress you and brush your hair in the morning?
Linda: No. Although my dad does call me "Princess." And there is a grumpy dwarf in my building. | permalink

Lem: Ted, we need your help.
Phil: We were working really hard in the lab...
Lem: And we had this pinata...
Ted: Pinata? That doesn't sound like really hard work.
Phil: It was stuffed with science. | permalink

Linda: Hey, sweetie, want to go smoke a cigarette in the bathroom? See? I can be bad. Don't ever smoke, Rose. Every time you smoke a cigarette, Santa Claus kills an elf. What, helping or hurting? Because I can throw Jesus into the mix.
Ted: I think we're good. | permalink

Veronica: Well, you are eager and desperate for my approval. And that's two of the three qualities I look for in a partner. | permalink

Better Off Ted Review: "The Impertence of Communicationizing"

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 11:18:09 EST

Last night's first of two new Better Off Ted episodes returned to the show's strength: an office satire. During "The Impertence of Communicationizing," the topic of the episode was memos.

Sure Office Space may have mocked TPS reports, but Ted handled memos in a much different way. Apparently, the HR department at Veridian is notorious for typos, and rather than admit it could ever be wrong, Veridian enforces the incorrect policies.

During last night's episode, a memo went out that employees must NOW use offenseive language instead of NOT. The results? Hilarious as expected. We especially loved seeing Phil and Lem break down insults to a simple formula.

The episode may not have been the strongest of this short second season, but it will certainly have you smiling. Except for when you see Ted in a cheap, unfitted suit. Then it will have you shocked. Then you'll consider what the rest of us look like in suits and decide to upgrade.

Anyways, now for some Better Off Ted quotes from the half hour:

Ted: "Employees must now use offensive or insulting language in the workplace." This has to be a mistake. Why would the company want us to swear at each other?
Veronica: Well, maybe they're trying to make the people at work seem more like a real family, Butt-Munch. Yeah this is going to be good.
Linda: Like everything the company does to us, it's gotta be about money. Maybe when someone's called a "lazy sack of crap," they work harder so they can just be a "sack of crap."
Ted: Oh, this is gonna be a problem. People here follow memos. Especially since that memo came out saying people have to follow memos. | permalink

Janet: The company doesn't make mistakes.
Ted: What about that memo announcing "Casual Fribsday"?
Janet: The company said that wasn't a mistake. They explained that the ancient Mayans prophesied Fribsday--the first ever eighth day of the week which will occur in 2024. Which the company believes should be celebrated casually. I'm going to wear a denim pantsuit.
Ted: And when they urged all employees to "carpoop"?
Janet: That wasn't mandatory. Thank God.
Ted: Although we did find out what people would do to park slightly closer to the building. | permalink

Phil: We really should have been reading these memos.
Lem: Damn! We didn't have to work on Thanksgiving!
Phil: And look! Like I suspected, we were supposed to be wearing lead aprons when we were working on that genital x-ray project. | permalink

Veronica: In fact, we need to talk about us. And the future of our babies and how they'll be committed.
Walter: Wow, that's a lot to take in. Okay.
Veronica: I need this relationship to have a future because I need babies. That's right--big, screaming babies shooting out of my uterus, just stacking up like cordwood.
Walter: Really?
Veronica: Yes, sir. That's all I ever think about--the future, babies, and commitment. Future, babies, commitment. Future, babies, commitment. Commitment, commitment, commitment, commitment. | permalink

Better Off Ted Review: "Change We Can't Believe In"

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 12:32:37 EST

OMG. Perhaps someone's been listening to our constant complaints, but Better Off Ted brought back the Veridian commercials with last night's second episode, "Change We Can't Believe In."

While not as strong as the earlier episode in the night, this second installment was still a great episode. There was no overall office theme the episode was satiring and instead focused on Ted, Veronica, and Linda attempt to change, or not change people.

Ted tried to convince a security guard to not talk so much, Veronica tried to change Phil and Lem, while Linda was convinced she didn't need to change the boring Mr. Krebs. The episode's plot lines didn't necessarily go anywhere, and we were just fine with that.

Luckily, the episode proved to have plenty of quirky humor in Veronica's story line where she instilled her usual fear to a more suspectible separated Phil and Lem. Ted and Linda had slightly less strong plot lines, but still provided entertainment.

Overall, we rate the episode a A- and hate the fact the show is getting back in its groove just as ABC is rushing to push this season out the door in time for Lost. Our usual Better Off Ted quotes from the episode are after the jump.

Ted: Every time I walk by the guy, he sucks me into a 15-minute conversation. You do that eight times a day, that adds up to... well, time I could be working on my math skills. | permalink

Commercial: Veridian Dynamics. Friendship. It's so important. But it's different at work. Time spent with friends at work robs your employer of opportunity. And robbing people is wrong. Veridian Dynamics. Friendship. It's the same as stealing. | permalink

Linda: So did you hear the latest office gossip? Ryan the security guard quit his job because you're a giant douche-mobile. That's right, you're a douche on wheels. Or perhaps a decorative sculpture hanging above a baby douche's crib. The gossip didn't specify. | permalink

Veronica: Here, you do it.
Phil: Me?
Veronica: No, the microphone-attaching elf who lives in my drawer.
Phil: Talking about drawer elves isn't going to make this any less scary. | permalink

Better Off Ted Review: "Beating a Dead Workforce"

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 11:06:52 EST

As ABC continues to rush through its Better Off Ted episodes, we continue to love them more each week. The first of two new episodes last night, "Beating a Dead Workforce," was again remiscent of the stronger season one, sans Veridian commercial.

The show continues to show its strength when it tackles workforce situations in the ridiculous manner only the fictional Veridian could. In this week's installment, Veronica showed just how manipulative she could be when an employee died.

While a normal company would encourage mourning during its funeral for an employee that passed away, Veronica gives the troops an inspirational speech and tries to gets her troops to work even harder. As a result, Jenkins become almost a Jesus-like character and had a cult of drones following him.

Overall, we loved the episode and would easily give it an A rating. The main storyline was brilliant and quirky in standard Ted fashion. As for the subplots, Lem's storyline was strong, but slightly dragged on, while Linda's "seize the day" plotline had a few decent jokes, but felt weak overall.

More importantly, does anyone know how we can get a full copy of "Veronica in the Key of Love?" Now for some of our favorite Better Off Ted quotes from the episode after the jump.

Lem: We did it, Ted. We now have a working prototype for the Veridian Sleep System.
Phil: All the hard work, late nights and no rest have paid off. We've cured sleeplessness and demonstrated irony. | permalink

Veronica: Sorry, Ted. The company feels that if we ease up because someone dies, it will only encourage other people to die. | permalink

Lem: Gordon Jenkins was a good man. But he was also a complex man. For example, he liked coffee, but he did not like having coffee thrown at him. In fact, Jenkins hated being burned by any hot liquid. In that way, he was like many of us, sensitive to heat. What a character. Goodbye, Jenkins. I hope you're throwing coffee at God right now.
Veronica: Nice work, Lem. Goosebumps.
Lem: Really?
Veronica: Sure. Why not? | permalink

Phil: Lem, I talked to the chef. It turns out that broasting is a combination of, and I quoting, "roasting and get the hell out of my kitchen." He wouldn't tell me the proportions. | permalink

Veronica: Now let's go upstairs and get back to work, for tonight, we dine in Hell! | permalink

Better Off Ted Review: "The Great Repression"

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 10:11:48 EST

We've officially given up on the idea of Veridian commercials on Better Off Ted and have forgiven this week's installment. That's because "The Great Repression" felt more like a season one episode of Ted than anything else this season has had to offer.

That's because this special New Years Day episode tackled a standard workplace problem, sexual harrassment, in a very Veridian way. Veronica's temporary solution and then the company's hilarious permament solution were very remiscent of some of the company's silly fixes from season one.

Meanwhile, Phil and Lem were given a great B story in which they attempted to save their robot friend, Chum Li. Overall, it was a great episode, and we're sorry it had to be shoved after the Rose Bowl, where it probably garnered less viewers than its already low ratings.

Overall we'll give the episode an A and can't wait to see what's left for the second season that ABC is so desperately attempting to get rid of in time for Lost. Now for some Better Off Ted quotes from the half hour:

Ted: What do you need, Veronica?
Veronica: We have a problem. It's about sexual... (looks at Rose) It's about sexual H-A-R-assment.
Ted: Ummm, well, I appreciate you not letting my daughter here the "har" part of that. But why don't we discuss it later?
Rose: By the way, I'm eight. I know how to spell.
Veronica: Never show your hand, sweetie. Always let the enemy underestimate you. Then when their guard's down, smash them with a phone. | permalink

Veronica: Sheila claims you propositioned her for a threesome.
Ted: Veronica, I work full-time and I have a eight-year-old daughter. I don't even have the energy for a onesome. | permalink

Veronica: Great news! You both have a disease.
Ted: You would be a terrible doctor. | permalink

Veronica: Children, they have so many uses. They're like adorable Swiss Army knives.
Ted: Although they can't open wine worth a damn. | permalink

Better Off Ted Review: "It's Nothing Business, It's Just Personal"

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 16:55:11 EST

With ABC rushing to finish up Better Off Ted's second season, we need to enjoy the show while it lasts, even if they go yet another week without giving us a Veridian commercial.

Luckily, the B story "It's Nothing Business, It's Just Personal," in which Phil and Lem attempt to figure out why the company stuck a red lab coat in Phil's locker, was remisicent of the fantastic first season. It turns out Veridian makes random changes to the workplace to increase productivity, and in Better Off Ted fashion, it works. Now that's the Veridian we know and love.

Meanwhile, the A story saw the return of the fantastic Mordor from last year's season finale, and his character was fleshed out to be more than just a magician. Apparently, besides having just an awesome name and a great set of hair, Mordor is a relentless lover.

We love anything that brings out the b*tch in Veronica, and Mordor's indiscretions certainly did that. The A story provided plenty of smiles, but it didn't have the laugh out loud reactions of the first season or even of this episode's B story.

Overall, we'd give the episode a B+ and are just happy to have a second season while it lasts. Now for some of our favorite Better Off Ted quotes from the half hour:

Veronica: This weekend, Mordor and I am going scuba diving. Last weekend we raced cars in the desert and ate a rattlesnake... and a goat that wandered into our camp, and then a light salad. | permalink

Phil: Wow. Can you imagine how great it would be to just take Veronica out in the middle of the day and have lunch with her?
Lem: You should try to aim higher for your fantasies. | permalink

Ted: This... this is about Veronica. See, she has a very high-pressure job. And she does it with 100% focus.
Mordor: Oh, she's the same in bed. Or when dismembering a goat.
Ted: Right. So you and the other animals have seen it. | permalink

Veronica: God, you people are paranoid. No wonder the company has to secretly manipulate you. | permalink

Better Off Ted Review: "Battle of the Bulbs"

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 12:09:02 EST

On this week's episode of Better Off Ted, Linda stepped out of her product-testing shell and actually present her own idea of a scented light bulb, trumping Ted's long-lasting one. In a hilarious move, Veronica took Linda under her wing and gave her the confidence necessary to push her shoddy product forward.

Meanwhile, Khandi Alexander guest starred as Lem's disapproving, super-scientist mother Stella. Stella was busy having an affair with the under-utilizied Dr. Bhamba. You can catch up on all the details in our "Battle of the Bulbs" recap.

So how did the third episode stack up? Like the season two premiere, we suffered through a lack of a Veridian commercial again. During the first season, some of these commercials were the finest moments in the episode and certainly helped create the tone and theme. We're really not sure why they keep dropping theme.

We did enjoy Veronica showing Linda how to be confident and the entire battle of the bulbs plot line. However, for the most part, the Stella and Lem plot line felt weak until the very end. Lem killed in the dinner scene with his grown-up drinks.

Overall, the episode was decent, but still not up to the quirkiness that made season one so phenomenal. Now for our favorite Better Off Ted quotes from the episode.

Ted: And I can't get enough of the company's love.
Linda: Maybe you and the company should spend a weekend in wine country together, share a couple of bottles one evening, maybe convince it not to wear panties to dinner. [walks away]
Veronica: You should jump on that, Ted, before the crazy outweighs the hot. | permalink

Veronica: I know what you're going through. When my little sister came along, I was very jealous. That feeling never went away--even when she so she was older and I put testosterone in her orange juice, so she became became hairy and unlovable and got kicked off the gymnastics team for doping.
Ted: Oh, my God!
Veronica: I was not a perfect child, Ted. My parents only had so much love, and I got it, and Monkey Girl didn't. Anyway, don't be like that. | permalink

Dr. Bhamba: Why are you looking up my mother's Facebook page?
Lem: I'm going to find her, seduce her, and make sensitive yet vigorous love to her.
Dr. Bhamba: Well, that's the one thing we haven't tried to get her out of her coma. | permalink

Veronica: Now get in there and run that meeting like a shark driving an assault vehicle through a herd of seals wearing chum pants. | permalink