Hank meets with Dean Koons, presumably to get fired, but there is no legitimate reason fro the Dean to fire him, other than for personal reasons (i.e. sex with his wife).
The meeting is interrupted when both Hank and Stacy receive a phone call from the principle of their daughter's school. It seems Becca and Chelsea got into a fight - like a real fight, incited by their parents' recent indiscretions. Chelsea called Hank a home-wrecker and then Becca shoved her into the vending machine - and then all hell broke loose. Both the girls are being expelled. Felicia tries to mitigate the situation with the principal, by airing out all of their dirty laundry - and this is the first that Karen is hearing of their little affair!
Meanwhile, Marcy is stressed that Rick Springfield hasn't called her in days. Charlie couldn't be happier about it! He warns Marcy to stay away from him - it's not so much that he's jealous because she's his wife, but really just thinks Rick Springfield is bad news for her.
Charlie is totally perplexed to hear that Rick Springfield will be performing at a charity concert, benefiting juvenile diabetes. Of course it all makes sense when Rick explains that its a great place to pick up girls. He then demands that Charlie get him some cocaine and deliver to him at his trailer. Charlie is a little indignant that he's being asked to be Rick Springfield's bitch, but Sue effectively tells him to suck it up and gives him a little bonus cash for his trouble.
Charlie and Hank bitch and moan to each other about their problems. When Hank says that he'll be moving back to NYC, Charlie completely loses it. He'll be all alone. AND he has to find some cocaine and doesn't know what to do with himself. Hank consoles Charlie with a man snuggle on the couch. Luckily, a student overhears and interrupts them with a lead on where to find some coke.
Hank and Charlie go to the student drug dealer's apartment. When he doesn't answer, they let themselves in, and have a look around. Hank sees the coke planted adjacent to the kid's pet snake. The snake bites Charlie as he grabs the bag. They are interrupted by an overweight campus security guard. Comically, Runkle gets away and Hank gets pounced.
Charlie shows up at Rick Springfield's tour bus with the cocaine. Rick apologizes to Charlie for treating him like crap earlier. Charlie goes to grab a drink from the cooler. Upon seeing lobster in the cooler, he immediately knows that Marcy is hiding in the trailer. He is pissed that she would compromise her sobriety for this idiot! Charlie freaks out at Rick - then recants - but it's too late. Rick has had enough with Charlie and Sue and the entire agency - but he still wants his coke. Charlie throws the cocaine in his face, and Rick scampers to collect the powder from the floor.
Becca asks Karen for answers about what is going to happen with their lives. Karen just doesn't know what to tell her. She decides to take her over to Chelsea's to apologize. Stacy proposes to Karen that the two of them hook up to get back at their significant others. Naturally, Karen is appalled and accepts his offer for a drink instead.
Felicia bails Hank out of his holding cell at the campus security detention center. They debate the meaning of love and happiness. Surprisingly, Hank is the true romantic. She kisses him goodnight, and potentially goodbye.
Hank: I'm very tight with the dean. He will not be pleased when he hears about this.
Security Guard: You're friends with the dean?
Hank: I fucked his wife.
- Permalink: I'm very tight with the dean. He will not be pleased when he hea...
Charlie: Like your dream crush now, Marcy?
Marcy: It's like watching a figure skater fall.
- Permalink: Like your dream crush now, Marcy? It's like watching a figure ...