Gabrielle: (talking to Carlos about who might've told Lynette about her affair) So I know Susan Mayer would never tell must've been Helen Rowland! She probably blabbed to all the girls at the salon. And Ida Greenberg goes to that salon, so if Ida knows the whole town knows and we're just gonna have to move, that's all there is to it. Carlos! Can you stop pudding for two seconds and show me some support?
Carlos: What do you expect me to do? You brought this on yourself.
Gabrielle: It was a harmless little kiss! Why is everyone making a big deal about this?
Carlos: Because you had an affair with an underaged gardener! People don't think you are harmless, they see you as a predator! (Smirks)
Gabrielle: You're enjoying this, aren't you? Punishing me, dangling the affair over my head, well I won't tolerate it!
(steps on Carlos's golf ball as it's about to enter the hole)
Carlos: Really? So just what are you gonna do about it?
Gabrielle: I'm gonna let you even the score. Carlos, go have an affair!
Carlos: What?!
Gabrielle: I had my little indiscretion. So you go have yours. Get it out of your system. I know you want to.
Carlos: I do not!
Gabrielle: Sure you do. Knock yourself out. Call up an old college flame. Rent a call girl. Fly to Africa, and nail that little nun you've been drooling over. I don't care!
Carlos: You're crazy.
Gabrielle: No, I'm pragmatic. Because once you finish your fling, we'll be equals again. And then you won't be able to judge me. And then we can go back to being a boring average married couple.
As she walks away
Gabrielle: Oh, just do me a favor, don't bring back any diseases.
