"And the Wiener is..."

When Peter discovers Chris has a larger penis than him, he tries to compensate with a new car and joining a gun club. Peter eventually takes him out to a father-son hunting trip where Chris saves the day. Meg finds herself the target of the cool girls when she joins the flag squad.

"One If By Clam, Two If By Sea"

When a hurricane strikes Quahog, everything id destroyed except The Drunken Clam, which is purchased by a Nigel who turns it into an English pub. Nigel also becomes Peter's new neighbor and Stewie tries to teach their daughter to speak "proper English."

"Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington"

Peter's toy company gets bought by El Dorado Cigarette company and they begin using the toys to market cigarettes to kids. Peter talks to his new bosses about his disgust, and they end up promoting him president to shut him up.

"Brian Does Hollywood"

The Griffins learn Brian left for Hollywood, and after trying out for Kids Say the Darndest Things, Stewie wins the family a free trip to Los Angeles to visit him.

"The Thin White Line"

Brian ends up taking a job as a drug sniffing dog and ends up with a cocaine problem. Brian checks into rehab where they tell him Peter is his problem so he takes off to spend some time away from the Griffins.

"Fore, Father"

After a camping trip, Peter tries to teach Chris to be responsible by making him get a job at the golf course. At the course, Peter decides to enter the father-son golf tournament with Cleveland Jr.

"Wasted Talent"

Peter drinks beers until he wins enough to get the scroll to win a tour of the local brewery, Pawtucket Pat's. While there, Peter and Brian get kicked out for drinking a beer that wasn't supposed to be tasted.

"The Story on Page One"

After an interview at Brown, Meg discovers she needs more extracurricular activities and ends up joining the school newspaper. Peter writes a story under her name that Luke Petty is gay and they soon end up getting sued.

"E. Peterbus Unum"

When the town's zoning laws won't allow Peter to build his own pool, he tries to get a permit and discovers his house is not apart of the US. He decides to name his country Petoria and invades Joe's pool, causing the US Army to get involved.

"He's Too Sexy for His Fat"

Due to Brian's flea problem, the Griffins move into a hotel while their house is fumigated. Lois and Peter discover Chris is skipping gym class due to being self conscious, and Peter signs him up for liposuction.

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

The secret to happiness is burying all your true feelings and living a life of bland compromise.