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After a camping trip, Peter tries to teach Chris to be responsible by making him get a job at the golf course. At the course, Peter decides to enter the father-son golf tournament with Cleveland Jr.
Peter drinks beers until he wins enough to get the scroll to win a tour of the local brewery, Pawtucket Pat's. While there, Peter and Brian get kicked out for drinking a beer that wasn't supposed to be tasted.
After an interview at Brown, Meg discovers she needs more extracurricular activities and ends up joining the school newspaper. Peter writes a story under her name that Luke Petty is gay and they soon end up getting sued.
When the town's zoning laws won't allow Peter to build his own pool, he tries to get a permit and discovers his house is not apart of the US. He decides to name his country Petoria and invades Joe's pool, causing the US Army to get involved.
Due to Brian's flea problem, the Griffins move into a hotel while their house is fumigated. Lois and Peter discover Chris is skipping gym class due to being self conscious, and Peter signs him up for liposuction.
When Peter hires the mob to destroy his car, he must repay the debt by taking the Don's nephew, Big Fat Paulie, to the movies. When Peter tells him he can't hang out with him because of Lois, he mistakes that for Peter wanting Lois killed.
Lois tries to get Stewie to be more social and sends him to pre-school, where he falls in love with a girl named Janet. Lois becomes a flight attendant and Peter takes advantage of the free flights.
When a plane carrying psychedelic toads from Columbia crashes in Quahog, the students all become addicted to licking toads. Peter goes undercover as a new student, Lando Griffin, to try and convince the kids to stop licking toads.
Brian goes to pick up Stewie from his Grandparents home but they miss the plane and end up taking a cross-country road trip. Peter and Lois attempt to rekindle their relationship with videos.
When Meg's slumber party is ruined by her family she books the family on a talk show. A network exec gets the family to do a reality show and Meg and eventually the rest of the family gets recast.