Scrubs - TV Fanatic

Zach Braff Confirms Scrubs is Canceled

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 15:03:23 EST

As if ABC burning the last two episods of Scrubs in a new Wednesday timeslot, unannounced, wasn't indication enough, Zach Braff has confirmed by Facebook the series is over.

Just as Scrubs med was starting to find its groove, ABC definitely tried to rush the low-rated sitcom out the door. After seeing the first half of the Scrubs zombie, we don't really blame them.

Unfortunately, we were finally starting to like some of the new characters too. Owell, we'll always have the Lawrence-created Cougar Town, which was absolutely renewed for its second season.

As always, TV Fanatic will always be your most complete resource for the Scrubs archive, including the best colleciton of recaps, pictures, and quotes from the seasons over the years.

Scrubs Review: "Our Thanks"

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 16:57:21 EST

It's weird, but saying goodbye to Scrubs for the third time was not nearly as hard as the first two times. And that's not to say we haven't been enjoying season nine, aka Scrubs med school, because once this series reboot found its stride, it's been good.

We don't want to think of "Our Thanks" as a series finale since it wasn't written as one and Scrubs already had its perfect finale last season with "My Finale." Instead we're going to review the episode as if it were any plain old episode in the season.

For starts, Cole has absolutely turned around as a character for us after he showed his human side last week. We actually genuinely like him now as a character and loved his plot line with Turk.

Seeing Turk sruggle with this "douche" trying to be his protege, only to have Cox compare it to his relationship with J.D. was perfection. Though Cole will never be as likable as our favorite man child that's powered by hugs, he still could have had a great relationship with Turk over the years. Too bad that ain't gonna happen.

Meanwhile, we're in love with Denise and Drew as ever, and their plot line, in which Denise has turned around and become the softy ready to take things to the next level was great. We're gonna miss these two sarcastic asses together.

As usual, the main plot line belonged to Lucy and us usual it was the weakest of the three. For some reason, Lucy never clicked as a character for us. Don't get us wrong, plenty of her jokes and the ones at her expense (especially the horse funeral) have us laughing, but she never really worked like J.D. did.

Again it won't matter since, unless ABC goes the way of NBC and becomes desperate for programming, we won't ever see a season ten. While the show has had us laughing this year, we're okay to say goodbye to it.

We want to thank Bill Lawrence for nine years of amazing television and if all we're going to get from you is Cougar Town from now on, we'll take it and be a lot more forgiving of that show.

Thank you ABC for giving it one more shot, we just wished you could have hyped the show more and given it that precious Wednesday time slot earlier. Owell, glad we didn't hae to suffer from another episode of tears from J.D. saying goodbye. Thanks for going out easy.

We'll end what's most likely our last Scrubs post with our favorite quotes from the episode:

Dr. Cox: The ceremony of thanks is quickly approaching.
Turk: That's where you publicly thank the fmilies of the cadavers you've been dissecting this semester.
Dr. Cox: It's actually a pretty sweet deal for them. After their loved ones are stripped for parts like a 1998 Mitsubishi Mirage, we treat them to some free cold cuts and a chance to hear you regurgitate some trite quotes about their family members sacrifice that you found on the Internet. | permalink

Cole: I always thought a surgeon would hook me with some sweet calf implants or a robot arm, but I never thought one would save my life. | permalink

Turk: You don't want to be a surgeon, Cole, it's boring and it sucks. It's the complete opposite of a water slide. | permalink

Cole: I already know what i'm going to call my surgical practice. Cole Cutz.
Turk: With a z?
Cole: That's right! Man, you gotta knock before you enter Cole's brain. | permalink

Turk: Surgery is long, tedious and boring.
Cole: Oh I get it, like episodes of Entourage that revolve around Turtle. | permalink

Scrubs Review: "Our Driving Issues"

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 15:59:43 EST

Hopefully you DVR Scrubs or are also a writer for a television site or you might have missed the penultimate episode of Scrubs. ABC sure did try its hardest to sneak in "Our Driving Issues" last night in a new timeslot without telling a soul.

Unfortunately that's probably a good indication that Scrubs' ninth season will without a doubt be its last. So how does it look like the show is going out?

If tonight was any indication, the last two episodes will at least be entertaining. This week's main storyline was shared between Kelso and Cole as the former found out he will never be able to drive again and the latter learned he had a cancerous mole.

While Ken Jenkins has had nine seasons to perfect his role as Kelso and always reliably bring in laughs, Dave Franco has finally delivered what we needed out of Cole. While he's always been able to make us laugh with his watered-down version of Aziz Ansari's Ed, his character was just never likable before.

Lucky for the actor, Franco was finally give a storyline which allowed him to show a more human side to Cole. Just a shame it was at the end of the series.

Meanwhile, the new Scrubs med stars, Denise and Drew were partnered with Dr. Cox for the war of the sarcasm. The winner? The audience with laughs.

Overall, it was a pretty decent episode and were curious to see how next week's series finale goes, seeing as how it was written as just a regular episode. So long Scrubs med just as you're starting to find your groove.

Our favorite Scrubs quotes from the episode are after the jump.

Dr. Cox: Hey talking man baby, come here. I am parked in the ten minute parking zone.
Trang: You want me to move your car?
Dr. Cox: No, I love the space. What I want you to do is pull out of and then back into the space every ten minutes. If you get bored, here's a deck of cards and a ball. | permalink

Cole: Lucy, it's not cancer cancer. That kind of cancer is for uglies and people who put laptops on their balls. | permalink

Denise: What's going on? You texted that someone was coding in here.
Dr. Cox: You texted me, "come and show me your boobs."
Drew: I may have switched those texts, which does raise the question, why did you come, Dr. Cox? | permalink

Cox: About as ridiculous as your five o'clock shadow. There's times I'm doing rounds and I feel like I'm teaching Yasser Arafat.
Denise: Really? I see a slightly gayer George Michael.
Cox: Oh, I so see that.
Drew: Could you please be more alike? | permalink

Best of Scrubs Season Five Quotes

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 23:03:13 EST

NBC decided to air Scrubs season five during the 2006 midseason, but were still find enough to deliver us a full 24 episode order.

During the fifth season, we saw Turk and Carla struggle to get conceive, with Carla finally getting pregnant by "My Bright Idea," when J.D. convinced Turk to tell everyone in the hospital before Carla.

Meanwhile, Jordan became pregnant with her second baby, J.D. began and ended his relationship with Julie (played by real life girlfriend Mandy Moore), and eventually ended up with Dr. Kim (Elizabeth Banks), who he would impregnant without even having sex with her.

Other memorable moments including the passing of everyone's favorite patient, Mrs. Walk, Dr. Cox's bender that lnaded him in a league of absence, Elliot's budding relationship with the Dudemeister and a very silly guest spot by Jason Bateman in "My Big Bird."

Overall, season five may not have been our favorite, but it certainly provided us with plenty of laughs. You probably know where this is going as we announce we've added nearly 700 season five quotes.

As usual, we've put together our best of Scrubs quotes from the season below:

J.D.: Ah Jason, when you're filling out a female patient's exam report, her breasts can be healthy or unhealthy never 'bangin' double D's'. | permalink

J.D.: His tumor is looking so big, it's starting to look like a three-mor! | permalink

J.D.: I just say something nice about him that's actually true!
Dr. Cox: You go do that and I'll go find God, quit drinking, get in touch with myself emotionally and we'll meet right back here at half past impossible. | permalink

J.D.: Doug, I told you to stop pre-tagging patients!
Doug: It's a slow day in the morgue.. nothing's written in stone!
J.D.: You wrote a Time of Death!
Doug: I wrote 1-ish! | permalink

Jordan: Helping someone move is like oral sex: you do it once and then they owe you for life! | permalink

J.D.: You not aware of any sort of odd underground canal system beneath the hospital are you? I think I saw a manatee.
Janitor: Was his name Julian?
J.D.: Well we didn't exchange pleasantries.
Janitor: That's Julian. | permalink

Turk: Dude, he keeps a hug schedule with his friends!
J.D.: Okay, Turk.. looks like someone's getting crossed off their 2 o' clock spot and getting penciled in for never! How does that feel? Does it sting?
J.D.'s Narration: He's hurting! Hug him.. hug him now! | permalink

Turk: Dr. Kelso, I'll go to that conference.
Dr. Kelso: Turkelton, I have many more pressing issues, starting with a gigantic paralyzed wife and ending with a gay son who has just written a scathing musical about me called Dr. Dad, which despite mixed reviews, has just been held over in Buffalo. So why don't you just do whatever... | permalink

Elliot: J.D., I really don't wanna do this. Can't we just go home, and put on our PJs and watch "Grey's Anatomy"?
J.D.: Oh, I do love that show. It's like they've been watching our lives and just... put it on TV. | permalink

Keith: How come I don't get a nickname?
J.D.: The other's surnames lend themselves to a nickname.
Keith: My last name is "Dudemeister"!
J.D.: What can I do with that? I'm not a magician! | permalink

J.D.: Dr. Cox?
Dr. Cox: Yeah newbie, what do ya got?
J.D.: That guy looks fantastic. What do you think he's dying of, a case of the handsomes? | permalink

Dr. Kelso: If I wanted to waste my breath, I would have given my wife CPR last night when she went into cardiac arrest. | permalink

Marston: How often do you make love?
Turk: Twice today.
Carla: Actually it was three times. You were asleep for the last one.
Turk: Wow, that really happened? I thought it was weird that you were in one of my sex dreams. | permalink

Jordan: You know one of the reasons I divorced Perry was because of his last name.
Elliot: You don't like Cox?
Jordan: Actually I love Cox.
Todd: Greatest conversation ever.
Jordan: See, that's the problem.
Woman: This sausage is huuuuuuge.
Todd: 'cuse me ladies, I'm needed elsewhere. | permalink

Carla: Keith, you'd better not tell her who did it.
Keith: But Elliot scares me.
Carla: Elliot is a blonde, 108 pound skipole from a cul-de-sac in Connecticut. I am an underpaid, pregnant nurse from the block who, over the next six months, will get fatter and angrier. Now, who are you really afraid of? | permalink

Carla: I'm having a weird pregnancy craving. Hey J.D., if you go out would you get me a hot Italian sausage?
Todd: I got a hot Italian sausage for you, right here. People think I just luck into these situations but it's really a lot of hard work. You know what else is hard? I should go.
J.D.: I think I may vomit. | permalink

Keith: Did Elliot leave without telling me?
Jordan: Why is there an intern in my bathroom? It's not my birthday.
Keith: She made me watch. | permalink

Elliot: I started an "I hate Cox" chat room. It didn't work out the way I planned. It's just me, two interns and 14,000 lesbians. | permalink

J.D.: Gift Shop Girl?
Lisa: Hey J.D.
J.D.: I thought you died.
Lisa: No, I just got married.
J.D.: But I sent your family flowers.
Lisa: I know. You bought them from me. It was kind of weird. | permalink

Jack: I made poopy in the potty.
Dr. Cox: You know, son, as a doctor I spend a lot of my day dealing with other people's poop, and I'm not going to lie to you, Jackie, it gets old. That's not to say that I haven't enjoyed the last three years of waking up to a fresh brown trout in your Huggies besides you'll be doing the same thing for me some day real soon. Yet, aside from actually seeing you being born and the time Wayne Gretzky said 'what's up' to me in the line at the bank, you being out of diapers is the best damn thing that has ever happened to me. It truly is. Now why don't you go into your room and play for a little while because your mom and I are going to celebrate up here, grown-up style. | permalink

Best of Scrubs Season Four Quotes

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 14:13:51 EST

While the fate of Scrubs season nine still hangs in the balance, there's one thing we can tell you about previous Scrubs seasons: they'll still make you laugh.

With that in mind, we're busy catching up with Scrubs quotes from previous seasons while we eagerly await new episodes. Today, we put up quotes from the beautiful season four.

Why so beautiful? What other words can you use to describe a season that not only guest starred Heather Graham in a multiple episode arc, but also featured her in the following outfit:

Yeah, that's what we thought. Now that we have your attention, but sure and browse our complete collection of Scrubs season four quotes or just check out our favorites:

Dr. Cox: Yes, m'lady?
J.D.: So? You feeling all glahh!?
Dr. Cox: That depends, does "glahh!" mean confused and incredibly annoyed?
J.D.: Come on man, it's our last week together! The J.D. and Cox train is pulling into the station. You must have a metaphor you want to use, hit me with it.
Dr. Cox: I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week together. Let me see...eh...em.. low-carb diets, Michael Moore, the Republican National Convention, Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products, high-def T.V., the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots, The O.C., the U.N., recycling, getting punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammies, the real Grammies, Jeff that Wiggle who sleeps too darn much, the Yankee's payroll, the Red States, the Blue States, every hybrid car, every talk show host, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, and everything, everything, everything, everything everything, everything, everything, everything that exists, past, present and future in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions. Oh, and Hugh Jackman.
J.D.: Hugh Jackman's Wolverine! How dare he? | permalink

Dr. Kelso: That young man's father is very important.
Dr. Cox: Don't tell me, he donated a wing.
Dr. Kelso: He donated a wing, a thigh and a breast.
J.D.: Sir...
Dr. Kelso: Yes genius, in this metaphor the hospital is a chicken.
J.D.: Please, sir, I totally get that.
J.D.'s Narration: How could a hospital be a chicken? | permalink

J.D.: Doctor Cox! Can I ask you something?
Dr. Cox: The answer is yes, it was me who saw you doing leg lifts in the gym on that inflatable ball - it was quite the display of girl power - absolutly love the leg warmers.
J.D.: First of all they were just big socks, okay? And secondly, if you need to do some laundry, here's the washboard (lifts his shirt) ...right? | permalink

Carla: I got my period. This really sucks. I've been trying to get pregnant for two months now.
J.D.: I almost bought a baby yesterday.
Carla: What?
J.D.'s narration: Don't tell them in case you want it later.
J.D.: Nothing. | permalink

Dr. Cox: Thanks to your little gesture, she actually believes that the Earth is full of people who are deep down filled with kindness and caring!
Dr. Kelso: Well that's absurd, people are bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.
Dr. Cox: Exactly! | permalink

Dr. Cox: Can I ask you a personal question? Just how long has it been since you swept the stuffed animals off of your bed, thrown your ankles up in the air and thanked whatever god you pray to that you didn't have on your granny panties? | permalink

Carla: What is the matter with you two? J.D., you said you were going to break up with Neena.
J.D.: I know! Believe me, the whole time we were having sex I was thinking about Turk. That came out wrong... | permalink

Dr. Cox: Say, that was some real Nancy Drew stuff, there...Nancy. I mean, absolutely irrelevant as far as medicine goes, but damn amusing!
J.D.: Don't feel weird because you're threatened by my gift. Many are.
Dr. Cox: Did you feel that you weren't quite annoying enough without adding a delusional sense of grandeur? Because I promise you, you are annoying enough. In fact, you're the number one contender for the middle weight annoyance crown.
J.D.: Well, you're the number one jealous...weight for the jealous weight... jealous ch-champ. | permalink

Dr. Cox: Unless all of you want to see me turn a two syllable word into a six syllable word I re-he-he-he-heally think that we should keep looking. | permalink

Todd: If you are going to stay with the Todd, you are going to have to hammock up. | permalink

Turk: Did you like it?
J.D.: Well that's kind of a trick question, Turk. I mean if I say yes, it's like I'm saying "damn dude, your wife is hot & I'd like to get me some of that". But if I say no then I'm all like "yo, I know she's your wife but you can keep that fish-lipped bitty". | permalink

Turk: What about you Carla, did you like it?
Carla: No! His lips are chappy.
J.D.: I can't use lip-balm; I always end up eating it. When I was little I used to spread it on crackers. | permalink

Turk: What does SCB mean?
J.D.: Super Chocolate Bear.
Turk: I love it.
J.D.: I knew you would. | permalink

Best of Scrubs Season Three Quotes

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 16:01:28 EST

The third season of Scrubs was easily one of the show's strongest and most memorable efforts. The season opened with Turk and Carla setting their wedding date and ended with their reception.

Along the way, J.D. and Elliot got back together, only to break up again, and several impressive guest stars made their debut including Michael J. Fox. Tragically, Brendan Fraser performed his final role as Jordan's brother, Ben, in the Emmy-nominated "My Screw Up."

But don't take our word for whether it was one of the strongest seasons, now's your chance to experience yourself with our collection of Scrubs season three quotes. We made sure to capture all our favorite Coxians rants, Doran fantasies, and Kelso's sleaziness.

So what are you doing? Go grab a couple drinks, sit back, and enjoy the best collection of Scrubs quotes on the 'net as we continue to build the ultimate archive:

Elliot: You're gonna give the patient the screening, and I'll tell you why. Remember that patient of mine you screwed up? Well, I'm going to tell him it was your fault and then I'm going to spend every waking second helping him figure out how to emotionally and financially bitchslap you even if the end result is that we both get our asses fired. Your move, Chuckles. | permalink

Turk: You know, I'm actually starting to like Journey.
J.D.: Well you're gonna be very pleased with the next twenty-three songs. | permalink

Turk: These right here, you see these names? They are called patients. This one needs brain work, this one needs a heart...
J.D.: This one needs courage.
Turk: Helping or hurting J.D., helping or hurting?! | permalink

Dan: I know. But you know what? This is gonna be great. You know, this reminds me of the time I came down to see you guys when you were in med school... Oh! And I hooked up with that slutty chick! Remember, the one with the huge cans? What was her name?
J.D.: Amy.
Dan: Yeah! How do you remember stuff like that?
J.D.: She was my girlfriend.
Dan: Right. You got her number? | permalink

Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? | permalink

Todd: Dude, my broccoli is hot.
Turk: Please tell me you mean temperature-wise - because there is no way you can find broccoli sexy.
Todd: Oh...yeah...temperature-wise... And mini green boobs-wise! What's up!! | permalink

Dr. Cox: Why don't we ever have sex?
Jordan: I find it a little hard to feel sexy seeing as I passed a human being out of my body six months ago.
Dr. Cox: Hey, lookit, I had front seats to that bloodbath, and it hasn't affected my sex drive.
Jordan: Oh, no, no, no, no, I got that when you asked the lactation nurse if she needed help getting things started!
Dr. Cox: Right. | permalink

Dr. Kelso: You are a doctor, and you need to be able to say simple clinical words like penis, or vagina, or anal!
Elliot: Anal is not a dirty word sir.
Dr. Kelso: Tell that to my wife. | permalink

Dr. Kelso: See this is why you shouldn't get emotionally invested in your patients.
Dr. Cox: Hey Bobo, now when the dark prince does finally call you home, please promise me that you'll donate your body to science, and I don't mean medical science. I mean NASA, 'cause when those buzzcuts have all but given up on trying to figure out just exactly what a black hole is, and they get one look at that space where your heart was supposed to be, well by-gum you know they're gonna say, 'Aww shucks! That's what it is!' | permalink

Turk: Babe, you gotta understand, a guy will sleep with any woman he finds attractive, no matter how he feels about her. If Tyra Banks drove her car over my mom and then offered to have sex with me? I'd have to dial 9-1-1 in the nude because my pants would already be off!
Carla: That's sweet! While your mother lays there dying!
Turk: Tell her.
J.D.: His mom doesn't die. Tyra uses her connections in the supermodel world to get government scientists to put Turk's mom's brain into Heidi Klum's body. She falls in love with me, we all move in together.
Turk: It'd be awkward at first, but I'd make it work... 'Cause I love my mom.
J.D.: Mm, and I would love her, too.
Carla: New low! | permalink

Dr. Casey: J.D., do you wanna get a beer tonight?
J.D.: Do chickens wish they could fly?
Dr. Casey: I have no idea.
J.D.: I like to think they do.
Dr. Casey: So do I. | permalink

Dr. Kelso: Perry, what has two thumbs and still doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso! I thought we'd met. | permalink

Dr. Cox: Shower shorts?
J.D.: For the man who has nothing to hide... but still wants to. | permalink

Carla: Dr. Kelso, the sexual harassment around here has gotten out of control. Yesterday somebody asked Laverne if her boobs were made for walking! That's rude!... And it makes no sense.
Laverne: Paris and Nikki were not amused.
Carla: You named your breasts after the Hilton sisters?
Laverne: Other way around, sugar! | permalink

Elliot: Gaby, you all set for your bone marrow transplant today?
Gaby: I'm scared. I wanted to bring my stuffed pink doggie with me, but Mean Nurse says I can't.
Elliot: Well, I promise you you'll have it. Honestly, Mean Nurse, why would you say that?
Carla: Because she lost her stuffed pink doggie two days ago.
Elliot: Frick! | permalink

Carla: Christopher!!!
Turk: You only call me "Christopher" when you're mad...or when we're having sex. You're not mad at me when having sex, are you baby?
Carla: Sometimes...maybe. | permalink

Carla: What's wrong with him?
Turk: He slept with Elliot last night.
Carla: Oh, that time of year again. | permalink

Dr. Kelso: I need your opinion about something.
Dr. Cox: Yes Bob, those pants do make you look like you're holding water.
Dr. Kelso: Perry, I'll tell you the same thing I told a comic I once saw in a strip club in Reno; I'm not here for the jokes. | permalink

Dr. Kelso: I'll just have a club soda. I'm driving home.
Bartender: It's an open bar.
Dr. Kelso: Give me a bucket of scotch! | permalink

Best of Scrubs Season Two Quotes

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 15:29:26 EST

Good old season two of Scrubs started off with Dr. Cox angry at J.D. for finding out his mentee slept with his ex-wife and ended with Cox discovering that Jordan's baby, Jack, was actually son.

Along the way we had some incredible guest stars, including Tasty Coma Wife (Amy Smart), Turk's borther (D.L. Hughley), the reason Cox and Jordan got divorced (Jay Mohr) and Turk and J.D.'s old college buddy, Spence (Ryan Reynolds).

Overall, the second season will always be one of our favorites and had some of the most memorable Scrubs moments. Now's your chance to relive the season with some of our favorite Scrubs quotes from the season.

Here's just some of our favorite Scrubs season two quotes, you can follow the previous link for the rest!

Dr. Cox [to J.D.]: Do you know how I know this is your's, Farrah? Because when I paged you earlier someone found it next to a can of Fresca and a dog-eared copy of Teen People Magazine - anyway. Long story short, the whole incident gave me a bang up idea, because you see I've got tomorrow off. So I'm gonna be on my couch sipping on some scotch paging you every twenty seconds and if you don't answer every damn last one of them I'm gonna shove this thing so far down your throat it's gonna make you take a tinkle every time it goes off | permalink

J.D: This, this isn't like being a janitor, okay? It's not like something everybody can do.
Janitor: Ohh, so you can do my stuff but I can't do yours.
J.D.: Yes!
Janitor: Okay hotshot, what would you use to get a coffee stain up off a tile floor?
J.D.: I don't know-the rough side of a sponge?
Janitor: Damnit! | permalink

Dan: So, while I'm here, we should play some frisbee golf, we should... maybe give dad a call... Dad. Oh, we should definitely make sure I sleep with that Elliot chick.
J.D.: That's a little weird for me 'cause... I don't know if you'd know this or not, but... we used to be intimate.
Dan: Int-inimate? What'd you do, bathe her?
J.D.: Yeah, once... but she was wearing a swimsuit. | permalink

Julie: Plomox is the most effective antiarrhythmic drug on the market right now and it has minimal side effects. Only nausea, impotence and anal leakage.
Dr. Cox: I'm getting two out of three just from the conversation. | permalink

Janitor: Hold up! There's been a number of thefts around the hospital. We're doing bag checks.
J.D.: But what about that guy taking scrubs?
Janitor: Hey, Tom!
Tom: Hey!
Janitor: He doesn't have a bag. | permalink

Elliot: Yeah, well, pretty don't pay the rent!
Carla: It does for my sister.
Elliot: Oh, my God, your sister's a prostitute!?
Carla: She's a model. Come on, Elliot, we talked about thinking before we speak. | permalink

Turk: Are you watching 'Sesame Street'?
Elliot: You know, when I was a kid, I had my first sex dream about Mr. Hooper. Least I think it was a sex dream - he was trying to choke me.
Turk: Yeah, that-that's sweet. | permalink

Todd: Dude. What are her boobs like?
Elliot: Todd, I'm standing right here.
Todd: I'm sorry. What are your boobs like? | permalink

J.D.: Okay first you gotta get like fifty candles, spread em' all over the room with some rose petals...
Turk: That's right because the roses are beautiful and they make the room smell amazing.
J.D.: Like a meadow in spring time...
Carla: What are you guys talking about?
Turk: Nothing, guy talk.
J.D.: Yeah, bitches and hoes! | permalink

Dr. Kelso: Perry! Hi. How are you, etcetera. The wife and I just took out a new insurance policy and I need a physical.
Dr. Cox: Bob, the day I willingly cradle your dusty old twig and berries and get a whiff of your chronic halitosis while you turn your head and cough, is the day you can look for me up on the roof singing "I Believe I Can Fly."
Dr. Kelso: Great stuff. See you about twoish. | permalink

Elliot: I still can't believe you guys are getting married!
Carla: I know! All my girlfriends think I'm crazy... about you! Because you're so damn cute!
Turk: Good save. | permalink

Elliot: Thank you!
Janitor: Oh, for what? For doing my job? Come on! This kind of thing gets me up in the morning. That, and the smell of urinal cakes. | permalink

Dr. Cox: In response to the beastiality rumor circulating about you, I've decided to forego calling you by the usual girl's name and instead I'm going to be referring to you by whatever famous dog I can think of. I've gone with Lassie because of course that satisfies the critera of being both a girl and a dog's name, thus helping you ease into the transition.
J.D.: I was just running kissing drills.
Dr. Cox: That's completely normal then. | permalink

Dr. Cox: Hey Betty, hey Wilma. What the hell, you're only forty minutes late. Do I, do I smell beer?
J.D.: Oh we, we ahh had a few.
Dr. Cox: Newsflash. You can't drink and then come to work. You're not airline pilots.
J.D.: Look Doctor Cox...
Dr. Cox: No you look! If someone had asked me, just this morning is there anyway that I could have less respect for you two geniuses I would have said no, no that's not possibile. But low-and-behold you went and pulled it off. Congratulations. The only problem is I'm fresh outta blue ribbons so instead you're gonna have to settle for a lifetime supply of my foot up your ass. Now go home, you're not fit to work tonight. | permalink

Scrubs Review: "Our Dear Leaders"

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 12:16:22 EST

While two more episodes of Scrubs have been recorded, ABC aired the last scheduled episode of the show's ninth season last night. So what did we think of what was possibly the last aired episode?

It's kind of a shame, because Scrubs med school continues to get better each episode this season as the new characters take up more and more screen time. On this week's episode, "Our Dear Leaders," it was hell week for the medical students.

Drew, who's clearly become a leader both in terms of the show and his on-screen study group, decided he wanted to step down from helping everyone, and Lucy was forced to step up. Much like her inability to take the torch as narrator from J.D., she was unable to lead the study group.

We were glad to see a softer side of Cox as he mentored Drew into becoming the natural leader he is. After eight seasons of Coxian Cox, it was nice to see him finally able to show a nicer side, even managing to do it in character.

Unfortunately, Turk and the Scrubs writers desire to drag him down to the level of the students, had him regressing back into a petty, jealous Turk of seasons ago. It was weird to see a Chief of Surgery getting so jealous of a visiting doctor. Owell, at least we got to see Turk attempt to dance again.

Overall, the episode had us smiling the whole time and plenty of laugh out loud gags. James Franco does just fine in the background taking over for Ansari's Ed as Cole. When he's not the center of storyline, his quick jokes are actually pretty tolerable and funny.

Plus, hey, we're in love with any episode that features Maya, even if she has almost no dialogue. She does a gorgeous job of just standing there. Lucy, meanwhile, who's normally one of the weakest characters had some of the best lines this episode. While we didn't necessarily love her crazy, we did love her calling out Trey and asking "You feeling froggy? Then leap son." Amazing.

It's sad to know that just as the Scrubs cast started to grow on us, ABC isn't even going to get to air its remaining two episode. We're hoping they move this show to the Wednesday comedy night on ABC and at least see how the last two episodes do in the ratings.

Hey, ABC owns the rights to Scrubs now and has money to be made off DVD sales, so anything's possible. Until then, you can catch our Scrubs quotes from the episode and our rating after the jump.

Turk: Sir, do you just hang around waiting for conversations to weigh in on?
Dr. Kelso: Yeah, that and my judge shows get me through the day. | permalink

Denise: Why you moping around like a tiny girl bitch?
Turk: Wow, can't you ever be like "hi," or even better, "what's up?"
Denise: Sure, what's up tiny girl bitch? | permalink

Dr. Cox: I have a hospital full of incompetents hammering me with asinine questions every second of every day.
Todd: Uh Dr. Cox, your patient in three is septic. Antibiotics or vasopressors?
Dr. Cox: Antibiotics first.
Drew: That wasn't so dumb.
Dr. Cox: Wait for it...
Todd: Oh did you get my request for scrubs that hug a little closer to my wham bam?
Dr. Cox: Thank you Todd for being the example to a point you don't understand. | permalink

Russel: Jambo doctors. That's Swahili for hello or good morning.
Turk: Oh is it really? I know what it means. I had a jambo juice this morning. A berry blast with echinacea boost. It was delicious. I'm going to live forever, you're gonna be dead. I'm gonna be alive! Alive!
Denise: Wow, sure you didn't get a fem boost in there? That was pretty catty. | permalink

Scrubs Sneak Peek: Hell Week in Pictures

matt@mediavine.com (Matt Richenthal) — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 17:12:56 EST

While Better Off Ted goes off the air next week, Scrubs continues to hang on.

However, the medical show is on life support.

It airs its final Tuesday night episode before moving to Wednesday evening and then, most likely, the TV graveyard. But we're getting ahead of ourselves.

First, fans will enjoy "Our Dear Leaders," an installment based around Hell Week, with Lucy placed in charge of the young group. Click on each photo below for a sneak peek at a few scenes and, of course, many silly captions...

Scrubs Review: "Our True Lies"

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 17:49:19 EST

With the except of last week's Zach Braff-filled episode, Scrubs med school continues to find its legs with the new cast. This week's episode, "Our True Lies," had two phenomenal story lines involving the new characters, and one mediocre one involving the originals.

Call us suckers for Drew and Denise, but we love any plot line that involves these two horrible human beings together. While Dr. Cox is slightly starting to feel stale after nine years, Drew and Denise are refreshing as the new Cox and Jordan of Scrubs med school. The idea of the hardened criminal, Drew, being the softer of the two, completely parallels Cox and Jordan, but somehow still feels original.

Unfortunately, Dr. Cox and Turk's plotline which featured a prominent use of Kelso and the Todd, did not feel as fresh. Why would these guys who have been doctors for so long still not know to talk to their patients or be able to handle lesbians? Okay, well, we understood with the Todd. With our other two docs, the show feels likes it's undoing things we've learned about these characters for years.

Luckily, the main story line forced all the new cast members into one room and it turned out amazing. Even the gorgeous Maya was given some lines. So glad to see her stick around!

Unfortunately, Maya and the rest of the cast won't be sticking around too much long, as even Bill Lawrence seems to be admitting the show doesn't have much of a chance for a tenth season. With only three episodes left, you better enjoy them while you have them!

Here are our Scrubs quotes from the half hour:

Cox: Here's what I'm gonna do if someone doesn't tell me who did. I'm gonna make you all retake the test. It's going to be you a new test, it's gonna be ten times as hard. It's not just gonna be on medicine, it's going to be on everything. Baseball, statistic, North Dakota high schools, the geography of a made of fantasy world I like to call Coxatopia. That's a magic land where where rivers run of scotch and hordes of pigs feed on the bones of cheating med students. | permalink

Todd: Sorry dog, already called shotgun on the lesbian.
Turk: You can't call shotgun on a person.
Todd: Alright then, dibs.
Turk: Dammit, dibs works. Todd, I'll let you run point on this, but you gotta act cool. | permalink

Kelso: Bar codes? What the hell is this, a supermarket? That's a human being, for god's sake!
Dr. Cox: Listen, old prospector. I know that any new machine scares you, but here's the well-held secret: you know that box that records your favorite television shows? There isn't a demon inside of it!
Kelso: Then how does it know what I like?! I miss the good old days, when doctors and patients actually got to know each other. You know, back when sexually harassing a nurse was just considered polite chit-chat.
Turk: Yes...the good old days. Back when a man of my color couldn't be a doctor...but could live out his life-long dream of one day driving a white woman to her hair appointments. Yes. Things were much better back then.
Dr. Kelso: See? Turkleton gets it. | permalink

Drew: Strawberry frosting, nice?
Denise: Hey you got fruit, dairy, enough sugar for a month. What else do you need?
Drew: A spoon?
Denise: Use your fingers, Queen Elizabeth. | permalink