Sex and the City - TV Fanatic

Classic TV Quotes: Sex and the City Season Five

Jackie@tvfanatic.com (Jackie Burkhart) — Mon, 23 May 2011 12:27:03 EST

With no disappointment, being compared to its prior comedic seasons, Sex and the City Season 5 was filled with much drama and laughter. The dynamic group of girls continue to entertain their audience with memorable quotes that are hysterical to look back on!

During the 5th season, Carrie's column transformed into a book, Samantha reopened her heart to Richard, and cautiously took him back, despite what her friends thought. In the meantime, Miranda adjusts her life and learns how to be a mother to baby Brady, and Charlotte ends things with Trey and begins a new love affair with her lawyer, Harry.

What better way to remember the girls' drama than reminisce over their ridiculously hilarious Sex and the City Quotes?!

Miranda: The only eating I'm concerned with right now is Brady. He doesn't seem to want to eat.
Carrie: Perhaps he's anorexic. | permalink

Miranda: Brady has to get baptized, and wear a dress.
Carrie: Baby's first drag show. | permalink

Samantha: My friends don't believe you.
Richard: Am I dating your friends?
Samantha: With your track record I wouldn't put it past you. | permalink

Samantha: I'm back with Richard.
Charlotte: Richard whose death we've been plotting? | permalink

Miranda: I can't go. I'm just...not ready to be separated from the baby.
Carrie: What???
Miranda: I'm kidding! Steve took him two hours ago. I'm free, I'm free!! | permalink

(After Carrie says she'll never go on a blind date again)
Miranda: That's what I said yesterday about eating bread, and I just ordered pancakes. | permalink

Carrie: Samantha, where are you going?
Samantha: I'm gonna splash some water on my face, and then I'm going home. And I will not be judged by you or society. I will wear whatever, and blow whomever I want, as long as I can breathe and kneel. | permalink

Carrie: So what's your book called?
Berger: Half-off. That's all it's called now, half-off. | permalink

Miranda: No, he's not sick. He's not hungry, he's not teething, he just wants to scream. I'm doing everything I can but I can't please him. If he was 35 this is when we would break up. | permalink

Charlotte: I hate his name, Harry, because he is, everywhere but his head. | permalink

Harry:It drives me crazy when you say my name!
Charlotte:Well then I am definately gonna stop saying it! | permalink

Carrie: Damn! Why is that girl still bothering me?
Samantha: Honey, you have to let it go. If I worried what every bitch in New York was saying about me, I'd never leave the house. | permalink

Classic TV Quotes: Sex and the City Season Four

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 12:14:36 EST

Whether you were a fan of the recent Sex and the City 2 movie or not, all SATC fans will always have classic episode to go back and watch. We're proud to have put together the best collection of season four quotes.

During the fourth season, Miranda gave birth to her baby boy, Carrie got engaged to Aidan only to break it off, Samantha said "I love you" to a man, and Charlotte tried to reconcile and have a baby with Trey only to finalize their separation.

Certainly a lot happened, and there's no better way to relive the best moments than with Sex and the City quotes. So what are you waiting for? Go vote on your favorites and check out some of ours from season 4:

Miranda: I showed him a boob in a coat check room.
Carrie: Just one?
Miranda: I sensed he couldn't commit. | permalink

Trey: Charlotte, I want you to move back in, and get rid of this old apartment. Stay all night, every night, and wake up next to me every morning, and be my wife.
Charlotte: You do?
Trey: Yeah. I've talked it over with my penis, and we both agree. | permalink

Maria: You call this a relationship?
Samantha: Well, its tedious and the sex is dwindeling, so from what I've heard, yes! | permalink

Carrie: When men attempt bold gestures, generally it's considered romantic. When women do it, it's often considered desperate or psychotic. | permalink

Samantha: I lost my orgasm.
Carrie: In the cab?
Charlotte: What do you mean, lost?
Samantha: I mean, I spent the last two hours f**king with no finale.
Carrie: It happens. Sometimes you just can't get there.
Samantha: I can always get there.
Charlotte: Evey time you have sex?
Carrie: She's exaggerating! Please say you're exaggerating.
Samantha: Well, I'll admit I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes! When I RSVP to a party I make it my business to come!
Carrie: See, I've been a no-show on more than one occasion.
Charlotte: Sex can still be great without an orgasm.
Samantha: That is such a crock of s**t.
Carrie: She has a point.
Samantha: What is wrong with me?
Carrie: Listen, you've got plenty of orgasms under your belt. You're gonna be fine! Now retrace your steps. Were you on top?
Samantha: How is that relevant?
Charlotte: You mean you can have them on the bottom?
Samantha: Top, bottom, upside down...
Carrie: OK, now you're just showing off! | permalink

Carrie: A squirrel is just a rat in a cuter outfit. | permalink

Carrie: I'm thinking balls are to men, what purses are to women. It's just a little bag but we'd feel naked in public without it. | permalink

Miranda: Oh God, Carrie. Is this my baby? I mean, what am I waiting for?
Carrie: Sweetie, do you want me to leave?
Miranda: No I can't have a baby. I could barely find the time to schedule this abortion. | permalink

Miranda: Why are you proposing?
Steve: I thought that's what you wanted!
Miranda: I don't want to marry you, Steve!
Steve: Well I don't want to marry you either!
Miranda: Then what are we doing?
Steve: There's gonna be a baby, and I...I just don't wanna just be a guy that sees you at the playground. I wanna help.
Miranda: That doesn't mean we have to get married! You're not in love with me, right?
Steve: No. Especially not right now I'm not. | permalink

Charlotte: I feel like we don't belong here!
Carrie: That's because we're wearing shirts!
Miranda: Seriously, why don't straight men have bodies like this?
Carrie: Because gay men have the possibility of sex at the gym! If straight men had that they'd be working out all the time too!
Samantha: I've had sex at the gym!
Carrie: See, Samantha's doing her part to motivate the masses! | permalink

Miranda: In a courtroom, reasonable doubt can get you off for murder. In an engagement, it makes you feel like a bad person. | permalink

Carrie: I've spent $40,000 on shoes and I have no place to live? I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes! | permalink

Samantha: Can we cut the cake? I have a three-way to go to. | permalink

Samantha: Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it's good, you don't have it anymore. If it's bad, you just had sex with an ex. | permalink

Carrie: Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cites. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away. | permalink

Classic TV Quotes: Sex and the City Season Three

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 09:11:08 EST

During season three, Charlotte finally got her dream wedding, even if it wasn't to the perfect man, Carrie had an affair with Big, Miranda had Steve move in, only to break up with him, and Samantha met the male version of herself.

Of course, there was plenty more during the third season, and how we have put together the most complete collection of Sex and the City quotes for you to relive your favorite episodes.

So what are you waiting for? Go vote for your favorite quotes by Carrie and the girls. Here are just some of our favorites from season three:

Miranda: Who woulda thought that an island that tiny, would be big enough to hold all our old boyfriends? | permalink

Samantha: I don't believe in the Republican Party or the Democratic Party. I just believe in parties. | permalink

Miranda: Do you have a rolling pin?
Carrie: On me?
Miranda: In your kitchen?
Carrie: Are you kidding me, I use my oven for storage. | permalink

Samantha: You know women dressing like men is very popular right now.
Carrie: And here I thought it was pokemon. | permalink

Charlotte: You'd dump a guy because of a bad kiss?
Samantha: Honey, you have too. I mean, if their tongue's just gonna lay there, what do you think their d**k's gonna do?
Carrie: Point taken. | permalink

Miranda: But you know, there is an upside to being with a guy with no surprises. I mean, Steve is completely predictable, but that's one of the things I love about him. He's just so comfortable and safe.
Carrie: Are you dating a man or a mini-van? | permalink

Samantha: Homemade quiche?
Charlotte: You made these?
Samantha: Oh, hell no! I had them delivered, along with dinner, the wine and a dvd of Affair to Remember, which were watching later, drunk.
Miranda: You can get dvd's delivered?
Samantha: I use this hot new delivery service. You call them, anything you want, they bring it within an hour.
Charlotte: Anything?
Samantha: Um, last night I ordered condoms.
Miranda: Please, tell me you didn't f**k the delivery guy?
Samantha: No, John, the hot guy from the gym. And let me just say, the condoms came a lot faster than he did.
Carrie: Now there's a nice slogan. | permalink

Miranda: I'm just saying as a lawyer, a partner no less, I got zero dates and as a stewardess, I got one for tomorrow night.
Carrie: I believe the correct term is flight attendant.
Miranda: Not if you wanna get laid.
Samantha; Honey, it doesn't matter what you say you do, it's how you say it. For example; I'm in PR, translation, I give great head. | permalink

Samantha: You said you knew how to drive a stick shift?
Carrie: Well, I did it a couple of times in a parking lot.
Miranda: Why didn't you get an automatic?
Carrie: I love this car, it goes with my outfit. | permalink

Charlotte: The only thing worse than being thiry-four and single is being thirty-four and divorced. | permalink

Classic TV Quotes: Sex and the City Season Two

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 23:40:28 EST

By season two, Sex and the City abadoned much of its cheesy breaking of the fourth wall and really established itself as the show we would come to know for six seasons.

During the show's sophomore season we saw Carrie get back together with back, only to break up with him when she found out he was moving to PAris for six months. Of course, the season ended with the shocking finale of us finding out Big was engaged. Jerk.

Meanwhile, Carrie's girls had plenty of adventures themselves. Charolette tried to improve herself in the bedroom via tantric classes, Samantha bought herself a condo, and Miranda started dating Steve, only to break up with him for the first time.

Overall the second season was one of our favorites so we proudly present you almost 140 second season quotes for you to browse. So what are you doing, come enjoy the pearls of wisdom by Carrie and the girls with our Sex and the City quotes:

Carrie: If Big had any class he would've moved away, I was here first. | permalink

Samantha: Practically all relationships I know are based on the foundation of lies and mutually accepted delusions. Take me and James for instance, I pretend he doesn't have a small d**k and he pretends to notice that we haven't had sex in three weeks. | permalink

Miranda: If a man is over thirty and single there's something wrong with him. It's Darwinian, they're being weeded out from propagating the species. | permalink

Miranda: Orgasms, major thing in a relationship.
Charlotte: But it's not the only thing. Orgasms don't send you Valentine's Day cards and they don't hold you hand during a sad movie.
Carrie: Mine do! | permalink

Samantha: The widower thing is a definite no no.
Charlotte: Why?
Carrie: The dead wife factor.
Samantha: It doesn't matter how much of a bitch she was alive, now that's she's dead you're the bitch who can't live up to her. | permalink

Charlotte: I can't believe he had the nerve to stand there kissing that woman and still pretend he wasn't cheating on me.
Carrie: Maybe he doesn't consider kissing cheating.
Samantha: Oh, come on it was only your second date.
Charlotte: So, doesn't that still guarantee me fidelity until the end of the evening? | permalink

Samantha: I don't understand why women are so obsessed with getting married? I mean married people just want to be single again, if you're single the world is your smorgasbord. | permalink

Samantha: What's your age ceiling for men?
Carrie: Fifty.
Samantha: Factor in millions and millions of dollars.
Carrie: Fifty
Samantha: Well, I just met the cutest older man.
Carrie: How old, fifty, sixty? Sweetie is he on medicare?
Samantha: I'm guessing seventy-two, a young seventy-two. | permalink

Samantha: If checking out other women is the biggest problem you're having with him, you're lucky.
Carrie: Well, if it's that small he should be able to stop. | permalink

Samantha: It's so interesting, you can tell a man I hate you and you'll have the best sex of your life, but tell him I love you, and you'll probably never see him again. | permalink

Carrie: Half my music collection was left behind by past boyfriends.
Charlotte: I always give that stuff back.
Carrie: Oh I don't. I consider it a parting gift. Thanks for playing and here's the latest from Hootie and the Blowfish.
Samantha: They're sexual souvenirs. | permalink

Stanford: How can you not have a shrink? This is Manhattan. Even the shrinks have shrinks. I have three.
Carrie: No, you don't.
Stanford: Yes, one for when I want to be cuddled, one for when I want tough love and one for when I want to look at a beautiful man.
Carrie: That's sick!
Stanford: Which is why I see the other two. | permalink

Miranda: The wierd thing is, when he tells me what to do in life it drives me crazy. But when he tells me what to do during sex, it really drives me crazy. It's totally hot! | permalink

Classic TV Quotes: Sex and the City Season One

eric@tvfanatic.com (Eric Hochberger) — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 01:55:37 EST

Ready to feel old? It's been over twelve years since Sex and the City first introduced us to Carrie Bradshaw and her fabulous girls on HBO.

Sure there's been five more seasons, one movie, and one more on the way, but does anything really still compare to that first season? Well, obviously we wouldn't have posed that rhetorical question if we thought so.

The first season quickly introduces us to our four leading ladies, their lives in the City, and the men they'd be going through. Are you ready to relive the first season with the ultimate collection of Sex and the City quotes?

If so, get ready to view our favorites from the first season. If not, go head on to the rest of TV Fanatic. I can't imagine there's a show you watch that we don't cover.

Carrie: Welcome to the age of un-innocence. No one has breakfast at Tiffany's and no one has affairs to remember. | permalink

Miranda: What I wanna know is, when did all the men get together and decide that they would only get it up for giraffes with big breasts?
Charlotte: In some cultures, heavy women with mustaches are considered beautiful.
Samantha: And you're looking at me while you're saying that? | permalink

Miranda: I'm determined to make partner in this firm even if I have to be a lesbian partner. | permalink

Carrie: Men, in their 40's are like the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle; tricky, complicated and you're never really sure you've got the right answer. | permalink

Random woman: Monogamy is fabulous. It gives you a deep and profound connection with another human being, and you don't have to shave your legs as much. | permalink

Charlotte: Jack says I have a fire inside me.
Carrie: You tell him they make a cream for that. | permalink

Miranda: You haven't met the Rabbit.
Samantha: Oh, come on. If you're going to get a vibrator, at least get one called the Horse. | permalink

Samantha: Frankly, I think it's sad, the way she's using a child to validate her existence.
Carrie: Exactly. Why can't she just use sex and a nice cocktail like the rest of us? | permalink

Carrie: I farted. I farted in front of my boyfriend...
Miranda: And?
Carrie: And we're no longer having sex. And he thinks of me as one of the boys. And I'm gonna have to move to another city where the shame of this won't follow me.
Miranda: You farted, you're human.
Carrie: I don't want him to know that. | permalink

Samantha: Ladies, I have an announcement, but, please, don't laugh.
Miranda: What?
Samantha: I'm in love.
Miranda: What?
Carrie: Samantha, uttering those words to us, was an event as unfathomable as Moses parting the Red Sea. | permalink