The Bachelor - TV Fanatic

The Bachelor Review: Spring Training

steve@iscribelimited.com (Steve Marsi) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 07:53:54 EST

The remaining aspiring trophy wives of The Bachelor girls took part in a little spring training of sorts this week, but there could be only one MVP in San Juan, Puerto Rico, and we all knew who that would be.

No one liked who it would be, but we all knew!

The absurd group date of the week began when the women arrived at the famed Roberto Clemente Baseball Stadium for a HIGH STAKES game of baseball. Chris Harrison was also there, thank goodness.

Winners get a date, losers go to the hotel. Bam.

Except for Lindzi Cox, who was designated MVP and got to play for both sides and win by default, the tensions were high and wouldn't you know it, Courtney's team emerged victorious. Freaking Courtney.

We still have more than 10 women remaining and Courtney has hijacked an entire season of The Bachelor over a five-week span. Is she pure evil? Unfairly edited to look like the villain? Both of those?

Hey, it's why we watch this contrived nonsense to begin with ... and why we knew when she said she had another trick up her sleeve for later, we were in for a treat. If by treat we mean bout of nausea.

First, though, Elyse finally got a one-on-one date with Ben. It would be her last.

“Unfortunately I was hoping for some things today that I just didn’t find ... I only have so much time here and I have to kind of follow my heart. I unfortunately cannot give you this rose," he tells her. Ohhh.

“I just don’t know what I did wrong,” she laments. Most likely it was a combination of not getting naked enough and not causing enough drama in the house to become a favorite of the producers. Ta-ta!

Meanwhile, Emily O'Brien uses one-on-one time to trash Courtney, again. We respect the girl for realizing how terrible Courtney is, but this is a losing battle and Ben knows/quasi-threatens her over it.

Then it's time for the main event. After Ben cuts Elyse loose, Courtney lurks at his doorstep, waiting for him to get back in her seductress white robe. She suggests a “nightcap.” He is powerless to resist.

It's always unclear exactly how much of this pot-stirring is a product of Court's personality alone, or if the producers agree to give her more screen time (slash time with Ben) if she agrees to act ridiculous.

We'll never know for sure, but we do know she has become one of the most polarizing figure in Bachelor history (said in Chris Harrison dramatic voice) after just five weeks, which is an impressive feat.

“I don’t know if he’s ever skinny-dipped with a model before,” she says, name-dropping her profession for the 400th time. “It could be fun.” For exactly two people, not the other 10 million watching.

The girl does have some good zingers, though, from "Who knew strippers were good at baseball?" (Re: Blakeley) to “I’m a sight for sore eyes. After the date with Elyse, his eyes are probably pretty sore.”

Whatever interns are writing these lines on the cue cards, give 'em a raise, ABC!

Ben knows this “probably isn’t a good idea” but watches Courtney strip naked and does the same, running into the water and embracing her in what has to be the most Cinemax-like moment in Bachelor history.

Afterward, Court says she's "winning" again. Ben says he feels guilty. So it goes.

Shocker: Courtney earned a rose at the rose ceremony the next night. Can anyone stop her from winning the whole thing? The Bachelor spoilers we've read suggest it's going to be tough. But here's hoping.

Sadly, Jennifer, the girl he took out on that great one-on-one date last week, and the girl he told was the best kisser of all, got the boot at the ceremony, so she's headed home along with Elyse.

Until next week ...

The Bachelor Review: No Horsing Around

steve@iscribelimited.com (Steve Marsi) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 08:06:16 EST

Ben Flajnik is not horsing around. When it comes to some of the women, anyway.

In what was by and large a fairly even-keeled and benign episode of The Bachelor Monday night, he said goodbye to one hopeful who confronted him about a lack of one-on-one time during a group date.

He also fell victim again to the machinations of Courtney Robertson, who is either a really good actress and faking her evilness during all her confessionals, or has this guy whipped like no one's business.

If you've read The Bachelor spoilers for this season, or even if you're only mildly observant, you know Courtney survives for a while (follow the link to see how long) and has been set up as the villain from day one.

Make no mistake, Ben is The Bachelor, but this is the season of Courtney.

This model is so grating, so conniving, so flat-out painful to watch on screen, it's amazing she even got cast ... until you realize this is exactly what the show wants you to think about one of the central female "leads."

Pause your DVR during the end credits and you will see "Story Editors." On The Bachelor. They deserve a raise, too, because they do a heck of a job of making Courtney out to be the worst human being imaginable.

How much of her suckitude is real? Probably a decent amount. But the producers have more tricks up their sleeve than you think. They will manipulate people and edit meticulously to get the narrative they want.

Which isn't to say that's all bad, it's just important to realize before taking this contrived nonsense too seriously. I have no doubt there are genuine connections forged on the show, but that certainly isn't the goal.

It's all about the drama these days, and from a business standpoint, ABC is hitting home runs year after year with the types of people they drum up and the focal point of these (interminably long, two-hour) episodes.

Gone is the pretense of fairy tale romance, despite the recycled, quality sound bites sprinkled throughout the night. The women and the conflict in the house play an equal, if not greater role than the Bachelor himself.

Highlights of last night, for those actually interested:

Ben riding in on a horse, no doubt turning on Lindzi Cox who did the same in the season premiere, then taking a bunch of prissy, made-up girls on a fly-fishing excursion in Utah.
Ben tossing a "catch" back into the sea after she whined about group dates and not getting any one-on-one time. Why was Samantha Levey even there? Who's to say really.
Ben's first one-on-one with Rachel Truehart almost self-destructing because she "does not like to open up" but ultimately ending well when they talked like normal people.
Kacie B. acting really sad that other girls are dating Ben at the same time as her ... wow, who would ever have guessed that coming into a season of ABC's The Bachelor?
Emily O'Brien being that girl (there's one every year) who says, re: Court, “I feel like there is one girl here who is very different around you than around the rest of the girls.”
Emily adding that Court totally is “condescending and self-centered," and Court replying to her one friend that she is "like a nice girl" followed by "don't f--k with me."

And thus concludes another gripping installment of the guilty pleasure known as The Bachelor. You are likely feeling sufficiently dumber for it, but that doesn't mean it can't be a good time, right?

The Bachelor Review: THE MOST EMOTIONAL ROSE CEREMONY EVER!

matt@mediavine.com (Matt Richenthal) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 07:13:28 EST

The Bachelor visited Ben's hometown of San Francisco this week (at least I think it was his hometown, did that ever come up?), as the shaggy-haired star went to the top of a bridge and the top of a snow-covered street with his suitors.

He also stopped briefly in Dumpsville with Lindzi, later sending Shawntel Newton there in what may have been the most contrived ABC set-up in show history.

But we're getting ahead of ourselves. Let's go over the highlights from the episode before we tackle the lowlight of what, for once, might truly have been the most emotional Rose Ceremony ever...

HIGHLIGHTS

When not on his face, Ben apparently hangs his sunglasses over the back of his t-shirt collar.
Ben tells Julia that Jennifer is the "best kisser" in the house. Totally normal to say to one's sibling.
He takes Emily on the first one-on-one date and we learn one of her two biggest fears is "rejection." Makes perfect sense she'd apply for The Bachelor in that case.
The other big fear? Heights. The date itself? Climbing to the top of the Bay Bridge, apparently, almost as if the producers were keenly aware of the affect this would have on Emily.
But a kiss from Ben can evidently cure even the most deadly fears, as Emily stops, appears to truly freak out... and is then completely fine once these two swap spit. Phew.
Emily also tells us "a bridge brings two things together," you know, just like her and Ben in this case. They both agree there's now absolutely nothing they can't conquer together. Sorry, other ladies. The show is clearly over, right? When's the wedding?
The group date consiss of ABC renting out a steep street in San Francisco and covering it in snow. The women act shocked, though all also happen to be wearing bikinis under their clothing. Ben goes shirtless.
"Kacie B went down more than any of the girls," Ben says, making it clear why he's been keeping her around.
All agree the street skiing was the best time anyone has ever had in the history of the world, and the party then moves to some outdoor bar/restaurant with a waterfall. Back at the hotel, though, Brittney receives a card and a request for a one-on-one date, but her lack of excitement leaves the other women utterly baffled. They are speechless.
Brittney decides to leave the show. Ben tries to act surprised and/or as if he knows her name and actually sent her the date card. But her leaving does have a drastic effect: he tells the camera that it makes him realize any of the women could leave at any time. Yes, folks, they possess free will!
Lindzi then gets the date originally meant for Brittney, which involves a private trolley tour, an ice cream run (Mocha Chip for both, solid choice), dinner at a speak easy, a concert by Matt Nathanson and a trip inside a piano store.
Ben refers to Lindzi as a "complete woman" and "something special" and she says "nothing can ruin tonight." Cue something ruining tonight in 3... 2... 1...

SHAWNTEL NEWTON

So this woman was apparently sent home on Brad Womack's season and has now decided she likes Ben and wants to compete for his affection. Has she ever actually met Ben before? It's unclear but unlikely, as each refer to having "spoke" to each other before once they actually come face to face here.
She just wants a chance and asks Ben if she can play a role in the Rose Ceremony. (Doesn't ABC have rules for applying, which it advertises each week? How can a woman just show up randomly because she thinks she likes a guy she has never met before? Doesn't that put her in the same pool as everyone who got rejected by the network? And how can the girls act so appalled when they've known for Ben for about 7.5 seconds? And why am I questioning this as if everyone wasn't let in on the "surprise" beforehand?)

THINGS SAID ABOUT SHAWNTEL NEWTON BY OTHER CONTESTANTS

She has "thick thighs."
She's a "bitch."
She's "dumpster trash."
She's "Brad's leftover."
She "drinks people's blood."

THE ROSE CEREMONY

Lindzi and Emily already have roses from their one-on-one dates, while Rachel was given one at the group date.
After asking Kacie, Elyse, Jamie, Jennifer, Casey, Blakeley, Monica, Nicki and Samantha if they'll accept his rose, Chris tells Ben he's down to his final flower. He knows this... but he gives it to no one! Shawntel is left stunned by this diss, later telling the camera that Ben has feelings for her but could not be a man about it.
Erika proceeds to drop to the floor and hyperventilate.

THINGS THAT DID NOT ACTUALLY HAPPEN ON THE SHOW, DESPITE WHAT WAS SAID/DEPICTED

The girls seeing Ben and Emily climbing the bridge via telescope.
Ben playing the piano.
Shawntel's call to Chris, in which she said she was on her way.
Lindzi's boyfriend of a year and a half dumping her with a text message that read "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You."

NUMBER OF KISSES TO DIFFERENT WOMEN THAT LASTED FOR MORE THAN 1.5 SECONDS

NUMBER OF WOMEN BEN SAID "SPARKLED," WHILE SAID WOMAN WAS WEARING A SPARKLY DRESS

One (Kacie B.)

LINE OF THE NIGHT

WHO IS SHE? - personal trainer Elyse, reacting to the arrival of Shawntel, clearly contemplating a bench press of the stranger off the balcony.

DISS OF THE NIGHT

She's the kind of the girl your boyfriend cheats on you with. - Courtney on Blakeley

MARTYR OF THE NIGHT

Courtney, who told Ben she can "carry the weight" of all the female drama because she has "big shoulders."

So... what did you think of Shawntel's arrival? Should Ben have kept her around? Was it fair? Are those two totally meant to be together, if only Ben would man up? And how awful of a human being does Courtney appear to be?

The Bachelor Review: Let the Wine and Tears Flow

steve@iscribelimited.com (Steve Marsi) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 07:18:45 EST

The Bachelor didn't bring the level of drama we saw in the season premiere, but still offered its share of cat-fighting last night, while also offering some genuinely sweet moments on some of the dates.

I can't believe I just wrote that either. But did you see the kids?

We'll get to that shortly, but first, Ben took Kacie B. on his first one-on-one date. Cue obligatory over-the-top script: "How great is that!? This could be the first date with the man I hope to marry!"

It did go well. Despite the fact that Sonoma may be a ghost town, they bonded over food, wine, Ben's late father, and home movies of themselves as kids. A little unusual, but good enough for a rose.

The next day Ben had a group date with 12 of the women, putting on a play written by kids. Some of the women wore incredibly inappropriate attire for this "date," which even the kids remarked on.

In the end, though, the inherent silliness translated into a good time for all and not a lot of backstabbing drama. "The women absolutely killed it," said Ben. Not sure about that, but it was a success.

After the play, though, was a different story altogether.

Blakeley, a cougar cocktail waitress whose busty bod and aggressiveness/desperation have already made her one of the two villains this season along with Courtney, decides to put it all out there.

And we're not solely talking about her chest.

"Everybody shut up. Just give me Ben," she says. "That's all I care about." Hilarious, to viewers. Upsetting to some of the other girls, who cry, talk smack and even go hide in the bathroom stall.

Well played, Blakeley, and producers enticing Blakeley to really bring out the crazy. The best part? Ben gives the group date rose to the woman "who really owned the day and the night" ... Blakeley.

No word if Samantha's belts and shoelaces were taken away by Chris Harrison at that point, but the whole thing left Jennifer in tears as well, and Jenna the awkward blogger was going unglued.

After a brief interlude, Ben and dog Scotch took Courtney on a picnic by the water. She admits she has "trust issues" and name checks all the awesome things she's done and people she's dated.

"Courtney's the full package," says Ben to the cameras, as if this were the most amazing girl in world history. "Smart, witty, smart, drop-dead gorgeous. ... It's almost too good to be true."

Better than average, maybe, but really dude?

After a romantic dinner under a tree, they talk about how they're having an epiphany of sorts and that they are basically going to get naked as soon as the cameras turn off. Paraphrasing, but totally.

SIDE NOTE: If you care to read who makes it a long way this season, and even who we've heard Ben picks at the end, follow this link for The Bachelor spoilers. You have officially been warned.

At the cocktail party, he reunites with First Impression Girl Lindzi for some horseplay, whisks Samantha away for a talk, but then gets interrupted by - dun dun dun!!! - Blakeley. Jenna can't take it anymore.

Jenna tries to tell Ben she's "like a guy" and is not "a typical girl," but it just comes out as utter nonsense, and Ben later goes to find her curled up in the fetal position crying. Not how to impress a guy.

The girls somehow did the unthinkable, however, and bashed Blakes so hard they made her sad and even sympathetic. Ben seeks her out to tell her it's okay. Does that mean she'll stick around awhile?

Either way, The Bachelor does a nice job of taking itself seriously enough for the 'shipper crowd, while playing up the drama sideshow enough for the fans who watch primarily to make fun of the people.

Jenna got the axe. So did someone named Shawn.

We are now down to 16. Who will Ben forge a connection with next week? Who will try to claw another contestant's eyes out? What outsider makes a stunning visit? Sound off in the comments below.

The Bachelor Promo: A Season Like No Other

steve@iscribelimited.com (Steve Marsi) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:17:40 EST

The Bachelor is really upping the ante this season.

Sure, there's a quest for love and all that jazz, but if we learned anything from last night's season premiere, it's that The Bachelor has become about so much more than a fairy tale romance. In the coming nine weeks:

There will be tears.
There will be nudity.
One girl will become the enemy of all the rest.
A girl will up and leave the show of her own volition.
A girl will hyperventilate and pass out mid-rose ceremony.
There will be a mysterious, familiar face making her return.

Excited/repulsed yet? You will be, viewers. You will be.

Watch the trailer for the rest of the 2012 season below:

The Bachelor Trailer

The Bachelor Review: She's on a Horse!

steve@iscribelimited.com (Steve Marsi) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 22:00:00 EST

The Bachelor is back, and dare I say it, better than ever.

This is not to suggest that The Bachelor is a good show in the traditional sense. Now in its 16th season on ABC, the reality dating competition is often contrived, trite, formulaic, boring and a full hour too long.

Every. Single. Week.

With 15 seasons (and eight more if you include six Bachelorettes and two Bachelor Pads) under its belt comes a newfound sense of self-awareness and maturity, though ... however loosely the term applies.

Buoyed by blogs and social media, the franchise now enjoys better ratings than its heyday, when it still operated under the pretense of a fairy tale love story. Nowadays, it's more a caricature of itself.

Which, to millions of fans, is what makes it the show you love to hate, or just love. Either way, we watch, and tonight's season premiere was a prime example of The Bachelor not taking itself too seriously.

In recent seasons, the show has pivoted away from promising viewers an over-the-top love story - a woeful track record of lasting relationships is hard to ignore - to focus more on drama, laughs and in-fighting.

Sure, the lovely ladies still clamored for Ben Flajnik's attention tonight, and many of them would probably jump at the chance to date the California winemaker who was The Bachelorette runner-up last summer.

But people talk about The Bachelor spoilers that leak online, the spats between the contestants and the lengths they go to in order to stand out in a crowded field, and that's what ABC delivered unabashedly Monday.

We still go through the motions of Ben's back story, how he's grown as a person, etc., with host Chris Harrison (who has the easiest, best job on TV and seems to know it) guiding our star through the filler.

Mostly, though, we were treated to "getting to know you" montages and stunts from this season's crop of women that elicited many a chuckle or eye roll. Just what you'd hope for and expect, in other words.

Any pretense of "reality" was tossed out the window when horse-lover Lindzi rode in on a noble steed instead of a limo, or when Brittney's grandmother stepped out of the car to greet Ben on her behalf.

These are winks to the show's always-repeated, often-mocked blueprint: All 25 girls exit the limo to make their mark and win the First Impression Rose. The writers are just coming up with ideas for them now.

Equally obvious, but no less entertaining, are the way certain women are portrayed.

Model Courtney, for example, is clearly being set up as the uber-confident, gorgeous enemy of the rest of the house - who embraces that role. Monica? She's just there to mess with people - especially Jenna.

One of the highlights of the premiere came when Monica basically admitted she had no feelings for Ben, but she is into women, one of whom she got very cozy with. The other girls? Baffled and mortified.

That's a new one. Did the producers prompt her to do that or did she go on the show just for kicks? A combination of both? It doesn't matter, because it led to some great drama ... accept it for what it is and enjoy.

Even Ben himself takes the show just seriously enough, embracing the position he's in for the right reasons (so to speak). He was legitimately upset to be rejected last season, but didn't pretend his life was over.

Unlike previous Bachelor stars, Ben seems quite at home in the starring role. Nervous to be around 25 gorgeous women, but also laid back and amused at the situations being thrown at him one after another.

This winter, he's looking for true love. Ashley helped him come out of his shell a little bit and he's ready. If that happens on The Bachelor, so be it, but either way, it's going to be an amazing experience.

One that he, and viewers, aren't likely to be disappointed by.

He seemed to connect well with Lindzi, who won the first impression rose, as well as Courtney, whose seductive powers seemed to win him over from their first meeting. It'd be surprising if she didn't make it far.

Beyond that, 16 others survived. Who will Ben forge a connection with next week? Who will try to claw another contestant's eyes out? Who will become jealous? Sound off in the comments below.

The Bachelor Season Preview: Ben Flajnik Returns!

steve@iscribelimited.com (Steve Marsi) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 12:10:48 EST

Famously heartbroken on The Bachelorette this summer, Ben Flajnik makes his debut as the star of The Bachelor January 2, and we could be in for the wildest season of the ABC quasi-reality franchise in history.

No, seriously, we're not just going all Chris Harrison on you. It looks fairly insane.

The California winemaker, who was rejected by Bachelorette star Ashley Hebert, certainly looks at home calling the shots, but at the same time, he looks like he's got his hands full with 25 women this time around.

There is cat fighting. There is (male) nudity. There are scandals. There are tears.

Watch a three-minute preview for the 2012 season and see what you think:

The Bachelor 2012 Season Preview

Who does Ben pick? As usual, the rumors are already swirling regarding his hometown dates, the scandals throughout the season, and of course his fiance. Follow this link for The Bachelor spoilers ... if you dare!

Ashley Hebert Named The Next Bachelorette

steve@iscribelimited.com (Steve Marsi) — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 10:15:21 EST

She didn't even make The Bachelor finale (she came in third), but Ashley Hebert was confirmed as the new star of The Bachelorette after the show last night.

The announcement came on Jimmy Kimmel Live, just hours after the season finale aired on ABC. Brad Womack selected Emily Maynard over Chantal O'Brien.

On the After the Final Rose special, Chantal revealed that she is already in a new relationship, possibly explaining why she isn't the new Bachelorette star.

This summer, Ashley Hebert graduates from dental school ... to The Bachelorette!

A 26-year-old native of far-flung Madawaska, Maine, the effervescent cutie looks forward to turning the tables and having the guys fight for her this time.

Unlike the sentiment expressed by many viewers after the show, Ashley said she has full confidence in Brad and Emily. She has no hard feelings, either.

The new season kicks off Monday, May 23 on ABC, with filming set to begin early next month. What do you think of Ashley Hebert as The Bachelorette?

The Bachelor Season Finale Review: Congrats, Brad and ...

steve@iscribelimited.com (Steve Marsi) — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 06:26:27 EST

The Bachelor season finale and After the Final Rose special were intense.

It all came down to one very difficult decision for reality TV's most notorious commitment-shy Bachelor, and there were certainly plenty of bumps on the way there.

That decision was what we had predicted, but it will be questioned by some, especially in light of some of the revelations that surfaced on the post-finale special.

Both women, Chantal O'Brien and Emily Maynard, met Brad Womack's family, and both earned the seal of approval. Although it was clear where his heart was.

On the final two dates, things got a little heated with Emily as Brad pondered whether he could really take on the role of father to her little girl as well as husband.

Oddly, she may have had greater resistance and reservations to the idea than he. But would that fact tilt the scales in favor of Chantal? Sweet, fun-loving Chantal?

At the end of the night, he let the runner-up down as honestly as he could. "I have stronger feelings for someone else" was all he could say. And he was correct.

But who was the runner-up and who was the winner - and are they still engaged?

For what happened next, follow the link for our full recap of The Bachelor finale ...

Okay, he chose Emily. There, we said it. But there's a lot more to it than that, and some of it was extremely surprising. Follow the above link for the details!

The Bachelor Season Finale Promo: Will Brad Walk Away?

steve@iscribelimited.com (Steve Marsi) — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 12:03:05 EST

He's done it once before. Will Brad Womack flake out on The Bachelor season finale a second time next week? ABC's promo definitely wants to plant that seed.

Of course, if you pay attention to The Bachelor spoilers or any word he's spoken publicly this season, you know he's not leaving without a fiancee this season.

What's a finale teaser without a little misdirection, though?

The Bachelor Season Finale Preview

As for whether Brad ends up with Emily or Chantal, we leave that up to your best guesses ... or you can just follow the link above and see if you're correct.