When Mr. Burns is caught illegally storing excess nuclear waste, he's forced to award the town $3 mllion. Traveling salesman, Lyle Lanley (Phil Hartman) convinces the town to spend the money on a monorail.
Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and um Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!
Chief Wiggum: Mrs. Simpson, I have some bad news; your husband was found DOA. Marge: Oh my God! He's dead?! Chief Wiggum: Oh, wait, I mean DWI. I always get those two mixed up. Mrs. Phillips: My name's Mrs. Phillips. You said my husband's DWI? Chief Wiggum: Um, why don't you talk to that officer over there? I'm going out to lunch.