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The-simpsons
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Quotes

Recap

Bart tells three scary stories in the style of Night Gallery:

  • The Devil and Homer Simpson - Homer sells his soul to the Devil for a doughnut.
  • Terror at 5 1/2 Feet - Bart discovers a gremlin on the side of the bus.
  • Bart Simpson's Dracula - Bart and Lisa discover Mr. Burns is a vampire.
Show:
Season:
Episode Number:
5

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The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 5 Quotes

Lionel Hutz: First, some ground rules: Number one, we get bathroom breaks every half-hour.
Devil Flanders: Agreed! Number two, the jury will be chosen by me!
Lionel Hutz: Agreed. No, wait--
Devil Flanders: Silence! I give you the Jury of the Damned! Benedict Arnold, Lizzie Borden, Richard Nixon--
Nixon: But I'm not dead yet! In fact, I just wrote an article for Redbook.
Devil Flanders: Hey, listen; I did a favor for you!
Nixon: Yes, master.
Devil Flanders: John Wilkes Booth, Blackbeard the Pirate, John Dillinger, the starting line-up of the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers!
Simpsons: Ahh!

Lisa: Grampa's a vampire?
Bart: We're all vampires.
Lisa: But no. We killed Mr. Burns.
Homer: You have to kill the head vampire.
Lisa: You're the head vampire?
Marge: No, I'm the head vampire. (Lets out an evil laugh)
Lisa: Mom?
Marge: Well I do have a life outside this house, you know.

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