"Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats"

Charlie is offended when Alan names their cousins as Jake's guardians in case of Alan's death.

"That Was Saliva, Alan"

Frankie (Jenna Elfman) tells Charlie and Alan why she and her daughter are on the run. Meanwhile, Frankie's daughter has a crush on Jake.

"Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick"

Despite Alan's warning, Charlie falls for a crazy, beautiful woman, Franke (guest star Jenna Elfman).

"I Can't Afford Hyenas"

Charlie's accountant, Stan, tries to explain to him why he's suddenly in financial trouble.

"Sara Like Puny Alan"

When Charle needs Alan for a double date with a pair of sisters, Charlie tries to desperately nurse a sick Alan back to health.

"Camel Filters + Pheromones"

When Berta brings her beautiful daughter Prudence (guest star Megan Fox) to work, Charlie and Alan are a little distracted by her.

"Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor"

While at the movies, Charlie and Alan run into Judith and her new boyfriend. When Jake thinks Judith is cooler, Alan tries to change his look and get back into the dating scene.

"Merry Thanksgiving"

In an attempt to prove he's a family man, Charlie invites his latest girl, Lisa, over and hosts a Thanksgiving dinner.

"Phase One, Complete"

Charlie wants to dump the latest girl he's been sleeping with, but Jake has grown close to her. Alan and Rose bond over a game of Scrabble.

"Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful"

Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith as they lead Jake and his classmates in school's annual music show.

Two and a Half Men Quotes

Jake: If drinking makes you feel bad, why do you drink?
Charlie: Nobody likes a smart ass, kid.
Jake: You have to put a dollar in the swear jar. You said "ass."
Charlie: Tell you what. Here's a twenty. That ought to cover me until lunch

Woman [to Charlie about Jake]: You guys are really great together.
Charlie: Thanks.
Woman: Your wife must be proud.
Charlie: Oh, no, I'm not married.
Woman: Too bad.
Charlie: Wow, you're even better than a dog