Charlie: No, you don't understand. He fell on his head. He's bleeding. Nurse: Okay. Follow my finger. [moves her finger in front of his face] He's gonna be fine. Charlie: That's it? He's fine? That's not a medical test. That's how you hypnotize a chicken!
Charlie [holding Jake's hand as he gets stitches]: It's okay, buddy, I'm right here with you. Go ahead, Doc. Jake: Ow! Ow! Ow! Charlie: Hey, go easy on the kid! Jake: No, you're squishing my hand! Charlie: Oh. Sorry. Did you feel the shot? Jake: No. Charlie: You're welcome. Doctor: Perhaps you'd prefer to wait outside. Charlie: I'd prefer a morphine drip and a sponge bath, but the kid needs me!